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Friday, October 17, 2008

The Joys of Instant Messenger



Hello my darlings, this self enforced exile is starting to get a wee bit tedious, so if it's okay with you I think I'll come back now. Not that it's been all boring mind, oh no, not at all.. I really must tell you about some of the recent new friends I've made, you truly wouldn't believe what an accommodating bunch they are.

See in recent months I've taken to chatting on-line with a couple of my dear friends, actually one happens to be a fellow blogger (don't worry Chewy I won't say who you are). Anyways, Instant Messenger is brill, you can have a real time conversation without the hassle of having to apologise for smoking, and where burping and picking your teeth holds no shame.

I was of the impression that only invited friends were able to access me on this, but apparently I am mistaken. Several other well-wishers have popped up as of late. Admittedly, I didn't recognise the address of doyouwanttohaveonlinesex?@thedungeon.com, but it was jolly nice of who ever it was to take all that trouble to contact me. Same with ilovetodoitliveonwebcam@desperado.com. I mean, we all know how difficult it is to reach out that first hand in friendship don't we? I felt quite touched (in a violated, flesh crawling kind of way). Here there are people, not only willing to offer out their hand, they also appear, from the gist of their email addy, to be perfectly willing and eager to proffer out several other of their bodily parts, too. Sheesh, kind or what?

I mean, it's not as though I have anything better to do with my life, if it's a straight choice between either keeping up with the housework or of having an on-line bonk with some nameless, faceless stranger, hell yeah, just sign me up for it any time! I assume the added uncertainly of not even knowing which gender you are getting it off with can only but enhance this rich experience? Mind you, a written recommendation first from a previous sexual partner (any close family member would do) might help to reassure me that they can actually perform.

Seriously, there are real live saddo's out there who are trolling at random to donate free sexual favours to anyone in need. Does "Help The Aged" know of this? Imagine the comfort this could bring. "Loneliness begone dear little old lady, we have matched you up with the perfect pervert, just for you!" I find it particularly endearing these valiant volunteers have all chosen to remain so utterly anonymous, are they selfless or what?

Someone should nominate them for an "Outstanding Citizenship Award", 'cos the way I see it, I think it's about time some of these guys received their just deserts, don't you?.

20 comments:

CHEWY said...

HEY! (slitty eyes) Seems my dear personal friends have found you... and I thought I had a deep personal one-on-one relationship going with them. Cheats! (giggle)

Kit Courteney said...

YAY!

THE NUTTER IS BACK!

(Meant in the nicest possible way you understand.)

:0o

Shrinky said...

Aw Chewy, I can't help it if I'm irresistable..

Shrinky said...

Hey Kit, did you REALLY think I was so easy to get rid of? (Manic grin..)

Sandi McBride said...

I am still lmao...I talk to Lee on Instant Mess (opps, sorry Lee) and recently I was sent an invitation to join someone known as Nudeheart and Mac of all people clicked on it...I know it broke his (Nudeheart) heart when I kicked his ass off my IM site...but there you have it...I'm a heartbreaker...welcome back...bout time too!
Sandi

BRUNO said...

Don't worry---as you get just a bit OLDER, you'll learn of the ways to protect yourself on this great Internet!

Either that, or you'll learn to become even MORE perverted to stay on top of the "pile"!

And people think of ME as "strange"...!

Suldog said...

Damn! I have really and truly missed you! Thanks for the laugh!

(If you'd like to catch up in a more intimate fashion, I can be reached at:

potbelliedoldbaldgeezerwithagreat
voice@heythatsonethingmorethansomeguysgot.com)

SJ said...

Hmmm OK... you can come back.

And skip the dungeon folks might be awkward if you ran into me there.

Les Becker said...

Well, hell - why haven't we been beer/wining in real-time?!

Email me with your contact info and we can have an actual conversation...

QUASAR9 said...

lol shrink
let me know when you are next live on messenger.
I'll buzz by and jump in

Akelamalu said...

Great to see you back and you haven't lost your sense of humour! LOL

imbeingheldhostage said...

After popping over several times to see if you were back, I was pleasantly surprised to see you had something to say-- and you didn't let me down! How funny!!

Mushy said...

Can't believe you published my email address online!?

WILSONART said...

Oh Lord,,,and just when I'd decided blogging was getting to be rather boring.
Thanks Shrinky,,,I needed that!!
Still grinning @ Chewy,,heh heh heh,,,,

pat houseworth said...

Welcome Back to the fray...and yes, there be a whole lotta weird-o types out here in cyber space...Thank God for normal ones like me, you, and of course Bruno.

;)

Jay said...

Hey, you're back! YAY!

Oh yeah, those online stalkers are quite something, aren't they? So, I take it you didn't avail yourself of their services then? LOL!

mrsnesbitt said...

Welcome back to the gang honeybunch! Yep the world is full of odd sods! I often get prescription deals for viagra???????? Hell spells! This is yorkshire where men are men and the sheep are worried! LOL!

leslie said...

Oh my gosh, you're finally back! Thx for popping over and commenting on my SWF - otherwise, it might have been another week before I'd checked in on you.
Glad to see the British are getting bonked online, too! I've got an msn instant chatty thingy too but never use it. Of course, you'd either have to be up VERY early or else I'd have to be up VERY late in order for it to work between us! lol
Cheers!

Rachelle said...

*gasp-choke-wheeze*

Well that was my last attempt at heavy breathing.... oy.

:)) Hi sweetie, I had to drop IM because of yahoos dropping in on my private chats.
Maybe it's time to start again? Drop me a line to tell me who you use. AOL crashed my system once!
Slainte~
Rachelle

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