Oh boy, I just love America. Despite the fact you all talk pretty weird, drive recklessly and completely shamelessly on the wrong (listen to me here, it's downright dangerous) side of the road, and also have surely got to have got the most crappiest and banal TV ever to grace the airways - well, despite all of that, it still has so, sooooooooo much going for it, not in the least of which is the very real, sincere and generous hospitality that you guys are famous for.
So where were all the car-jackings, drive-by shootings and pan-handlers the "True-crime" channel promised, eh? You know, the kids all clubbed together before I left to buy me a bullet-proof leaving vest; proper disappointed they were to have it returned back, as new.
Oh, and yeah - hey c'mon, I'm a Brit - we're not used to folk smiling at us in the street. (The dour Scot in me questions if you all aren't on the happy pills?) Shop assistants and waitresses not only make eye contact, they actually give you what you ask for, and sometimes, just for the sheer hell of it, they even look happy about it. (Maybe it's something in the water?)
Thought it was supposed to rain in Seattle? All I got was sunshine and blue skies. Oh and my God, your food - I simply gorged, I'VE DISCOVERED MEXICAN (no, not the take-out variety, the proper home-cooked stuff) it beats my porridge any day! My hosts laid on a veritable feast over Easter, we all converged at the farm in Oregon to where a real fine time was had by one and all. Here they are, say "Hi"!
A finer bunch you have yet to meet. Christina (seen stood strangling Max, the dog) and her fiancee, Jason (bravely attempting to restrain her from behind) are hoping to visit London in a year or so's time, I sure do hope to see them again when they do. Her Gran, Sharon, is in the centre, she is the one who was responsible for hosting our get-together - she works as a nurse, and Christina, well she teaches children with special needs.. These are good people, honest and true. My friend Mary is the one kneeling down with Teddy, the little Dachshund hanging from her arm.
True to form, I did have a little mishap at the airport, but they let me in eventually (I refuse to go into the detail for fear of proving how dumb I am - end of.) Frazzled and late, I finally met a very understanding Mary whose first act of mercy was to turn me out loose for a much needed nicotine hit. It was pure joyl all the way from there on out. I can honestly say time simply flew, I've had the time of my life.
Aww, God bless America, eh?
So here I am back in old Blighty again, and certainly all the better for having had my little adventure. After almost two weeks of not having to so much as watch the clock, never mind think about what to serve up for the masses to eat, I am only now just slowly getting back into the daily routine again.
It sure was good to do a runner - much as I love my family, what is it they say about absence making the heart grow fonder?
It's good to be missed.