Pages

Monday, January 10, 2011

Emergency Phone-Call

Big Sis': Oh, thank God you're in! You must stop eating that cod.


(This being only ten of the morning, I'm not exactly tucking into a plate of steaming cod as we speak. I'm happy enough to assure her there's absolutely no cod eating activity going on at my end, whatsoever.)


She: I've just come off the phone from Tesco's. Did you know they're bottom feeders?


Me (confused): Och, some one's been winding you up, 'sides, why would you care what they do in their private time?


She: No, stupid, not them at Tesco's, I'm talking about the cod! I've just been unloading my shop - the cod was all covered in these squirmy white maggotie things, ugh, disgusting, it was..


Me: Euwwwwwwwwww. oh, that's not right.


She: No, it's not, that's what I said. I rang the store and spoke to the guy there, told him it was rancid.


Me: He gave you a credit, I hope?


She: Will you just shoosh up and listen - ?


(She's always been bossy.)


She: He asked me if the fish was cod. Told me there was nothing wrong with it. Said ALL are prone to parasites, on account of them being bottom feeders. Said they die off when it gets frozen, and are safe and well enough to eat when cooked. It's only when you buy fresh they wriggle about, but it's still all normal and legal for it to be sold to the likes of us.


Me: I hope you chucked it out?


She: I don't eat fish.


Me: Why did you buy it?


She: It's for Hugh.


Me: Oh.


She: Yeah. I won't tell him.


Me: No.


She: It'll spoil his appetite.


Me: Yeah.


She: But you should lay off the cod.


Me: Okay.

83 comments:

TechnoBabe said...

I'm calling Hugh right now, maybe I will get him before he eats dinner.
Tell your sister to not describe things so clearly in the future, this is so gross.

chewy said...

Not so loud, Hugh might hear. (giggle)

Leslie: said...

Eeeeyoooo....we have fresh cod sometimes, but we get the fillets, not the whole fish! You've certainly put off my appetite for that fish now! *gag*

SJ said...

Soem people! You can't appreciate free maggots can you?

Mojo said...

Never was much of a fan of cod. Now I know why. But honestly, I thought they were blue water fish... hard to suck the scum off the bottom of the Atlantic I'd think. Actually I'm gonna look that up. Be right back.

Yup. Someone's having you on. Or your sis in any case.

From: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cod
"Cod feed on molluscs, crabs, starfish, worms, squid, and small fish."

Not exactly whale sh*t and mud in that diet.

Fletch said...

The guy at Tesco is probably still laughing his cotton socks off!

Now, you really want some gruesome sea fodder, go investigate what 'prawns', 'crabs', 'mussels', etc. feed on.

You will probably never touch a 'prawn cocktail' again ...

Shrinky said...

Haha, TechnoBabe - I know, poor Hugh. You think this is bad? You didn't have to grow up with her for a big sister.

Don't worry Chewy, he's as deaf as a post.

I have to confess Leslie, I haven't touched cod since.

SJ, I know - just think of all that extra protein, eh?

Hmmmn, thanks for that Mojo, I think I need to do a little researching re cod and parasites, too! Honestly, the things this woman comes up with, and 'cos she takes it as gospel, I get sucked in too.

Fletch, he is obviously wasted as a customer services clerk, bet he moonlights as a stand up comedian, eh? But for goodness sakes, pul-ease DON'T go feeding (no pun intended) me any more horror stories about the food I love.. I've decided ignorance is definitely bliss.

mrsnesbitt said...

Love the dialogue! Sounded very northern rooted lol!

Calamity Jane said...

Fish parasites? Yeah heard of them, wouldn't like to eat one though, ick. Legal to sell 'em? Ummm can't answer that one. I don't know Hugh so won't tell him, but but but great googlymoogly have you actually checked out the teeth .... the TEETH! on that picture you put up?

BRUNO said...

And you accuse ME of indulging in "gross, culinary-creations"!

My (in)famous "Scrambled Eggs Of 1970"-recipe would fit right in with this post of yours!

Hmm. Think I'll drag-out that "Thousand Islands Salad"-recipe, of the same period, in my defense...!

She Writes said...

Ugh! I eat cod all the time. No more!

Shrinky said...

Hi Denise, I was eight, my sis' 15, when our parents moved from Scotland to Leeds, England. ALthough we both have English accents now, when we are talking to each other on the phone, we tend to lapse back into our old Scots accents again, dunno' why. Shrug.

Hiya Calamity! Erm, I fess up to having not a clue as to what kind of fish that picture is up there, but it's probablly not cod (blush). Call it poetic licence (teehee).

Oh Bruno, trust you to drag that attrocity up (makes me queasy just thinking about it)..

Amy, that was exactly my reaction, too. Ughh.

~Babs said...

NOOOOOOOO
Never any fish pass these lips,,,,now I know why. Just the thought,,,,,I'm green and retching.

chewy said...

A bottom feeder is an aquatic animal that feeds on or near the bottom of a body of water. Mollusks, crabs, starfish and worms are on the ocean floor. So cod is considered a bottom feeder... although cod may also eat squid and other fish.

http://fishcooking.about.com/od/meetyourfish/p/pacific_cod.htm

Do not eat either cod or pollock raw! They can sometimes harbor little parasitic worms that will pass on to you if you eat the fish raw -- that's why you will not see cod on a sushi menu. Although they don't die when the fish is frozen, the worms become harmless and are practically invisible once cooked. Reputable fish markets remove them when selling either fish fresh.

jay said...

I never eat cod, because I'm allergic to it... or maybe I'm allergic to the little parasites? Now, there's a thought. Not willing to find out though. Either way it would be Bad. ROFL!

Lots of creatures have parasites. And did you know there's a school of thought that says the reason people have so many autoimmune diseases (allergies, asthma etc) these days is because we no longer have intestinal worms?

There's another thought. But .. Ewwwwww!

Shrinky said...

Babs, my da used to fish for the cod in Greenland, and it was a regular staple in my youth - ughhhhhhhhhhhhh (spit)!!!

Chewy, my darling Google Queen, thank you for validating these facts to the couple of doubters in here (I'm not naming you, Fletch and Mojo, they all know who you are..) Teehee.

Jay, that can't be right - I must have tons of those worms in me by now, and I still have an auto-immune under active thyroid (giggle)!

Mickle in NZ said...

Ahh, at a reunion of school mates 1 year after us girls moving on to University the med students "entertained us" with tales of the various fish parasites they'd investigated in dissection classes.

So very different from my Greek History, Greek Art and Comparative Religion lectures!

Word Verification = unarti

Shrinky said...

Hi Mickle, ha, that word verification loves to play, doesn't it? So, since you have it straight from the horse's mouth - do you still eat cod?

Anna said...

Oh poor Hugh, lol.
Good story, and for real cod is bottom feeder, then I must watch what fish I eat also. Thanks for the heads up. Anna :)

imbeingheldhostage said...

Having a hard time deciding if I should laugh or vomit...poor hugh.

Shrinky said...

Anna, some things are better NOT to know, eh?

imbeingheldhostage, aw, save your sympathy, I know him (evil cackle)!

Suldog said...

Funny how life works. My maggots were infested with cod.

CJ said...

I didn't even know Cod existed outside New England. I thought it was a name folks in Boston made up for any fish that was the catch of the day. Yuck. No more Cod, Schrod (flesh of young Atlantic cod weighing up to 2 pounds), or bottom fanciers.

*Goddess* said...

Ugh that fish looks gross. and I never liked cod. Too fishy:)

Shrinky said...

Jim, remind me never to accept an invite for dinner round at your house.. (ugh, spit).

Ooh CJ, cod is one of the most popular fishes over here in the UK - though I hear tell that's rapidly declining since this post (teehee).

Goddess, too fishy?? Haaaaaaaaaaa!

Suldog said...

Ewwwwww. I decided to investigate, to see if it IS common, and it IS, sort of. From what I gather, most white fish have a good chance of having worms, but most fishmongers and markets try to get rid of them before putting the fish up for sale. Apparently, they won't hurt you any if you eat them cooked, but nobody really wants to know about them. Still, ewwwwww. I love fosh, but now I'll probably be off it for a month or so until this recedes from my memory.

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

I'm torn between gagging and laughing..poor Hugh...someone please tell him..

Sandi McBride said...

OMG! If I had any butt left I'd have laughed it off at the first mention of Hugh! OMG I can never eat cod again! Do you suppose Sheephead are bottom feeders?
Still laughing!
Sandi
ps
you are going to tell Hugh though, right? Right?

Cocotte said...

That is truly disturbing. I once opened a bag of potatoes that had maggots. It was probably the grossest thing I've ever seen in my life.

Daffy said...

Totally made me giggle "Och...someone is winding you up...."

And I will never be eating cod again. I'm pretty picking about my fish consumption anyway...ach...I may go purge just on principle

Putz said...

if i could tell you of all the cod i have eaten in england, i would be talking tons<><><>the fish and chipie places and all those chips to go with them wrapped in the daily post{ a very liberal paper from liverpool}the printer's ink mixed with the slimy things on them in deep boiling fattening oil<><><>nothing better than maybe roe

Barb said...

Ohhhhh - Shrinky! Please. You've made my day. (Luckily, my night, too, since I didn't plan on cod anyways.) Even if it's not true, I'm not thinking I'll have cod anytime soon.

Paul C said...

Are bottom feeders as bad as the stories they spread about tuna containing traces of toxic mercury? Entertaining post.

Middle Child said...

You are kidding - yuk - but maybe the extra protein will be good for him

mythopolis said...

Gasp! Jut now checking in with you. There are parasites in everything. Everybody needs to get over it; In my life time,the world population has grown from three billion, to Seven. I know I am a big party pooper here. But I must say, Grow your own, if you can. Shop your local farmer. Chicken Little was right. The sky is falling.,

Rock Chef said...

Hm, I don't get to eat much cod, but now I think I will be eating even less!

Margaret Benbow said...

And just a little while ago you had the idyllic video showing your family (even the dog looked good!) taking a walk by the seaside on Christmas day...and now people all over the globe are hurling chunks at the thought of your sister's squiggly cod!

Susan said...

Aaaagh! I'm gagging and laughing at the same time. Yuck oh yuck. Ha ha ha!

The Blue Zoo said...

Oh my! That is so flippin' gross. I will never eat cod again. Ever. Ewww!

Shrinky said...

Hi Jim, I have to confess cod is now strictly off the menu here at Cassa Shrinky!

Shrinky said...

Aw Jackie-Sue, telling him might upset him, this is more a case of what the eye doesn't see, the heart doesn't pine for!

Shrinky said...

Haha, Sandi, I know she loves him really, but I also know I'm never allowing her to cook for me again!

Shrinky said...

Hi Cocotte, hmn, yes, I do sometimes find the odd maggot or two in our own home-grown produce,too - but no one expects to PAY for infested goods, then TOLD it's perfectly fine to still eat - ewughhhhhh!

Shrinky said...

Daffy, you crack me up - too funny! I'm definitely with you on that.

Shrinky said...

Hi Putz, I have to confess I am rather partial to fish and chips, only now I order haddock over any cod!

Shrinky said...

Hello Barb, it is a bit stomach wrenching, isn't it? Giggle..

Shrinky said...

Oh Paul, who knows? Seems there is always a food scare or two floating around, isn't there? Perhaps my other lil sis has got it right - her entire family are vegan..

Shrinky said...

Therese, that's the sprit (teehee)!

Shrinky said...

Dan, I tend to agree - actually, in season, we are virtually self sufficeint in fruit and veg - and often have a hard time keeping up with it! One of the reasons I left the mainland UK (London)behind and moved our family out to this little island has quite a lot to do with what that Chicken Little claims!

Shrinky said...

You and me alike, Rock Chef ..!

Shrinky said...

Margaret, it's my solemn duty to pass these little nuggets of wisdom on to my bloggie-friends (If I have to feel nauseus, so should they - share and share alike, says I - teehee! :)

Shrinky said...

Hello Susan, thanks for popping by! Yup, I doubt I'll be able to look another cod in the eye again, either..

Shrinky said...

Hi Stephanie, ugh, it is pretty gross isn't it?

i beati said...

cod yumm sandy

tattytiara said...

Oh. Well I only do buy frozen fish. After reading this, though, I still kinda want to saute them in Raid.

Shrinky said...

Hey Sandy, how lovely to see you!

Shrinky said...

Hi Tatty, ha! Now there's a picture, heehee..!

Fen said...

well at least she could use the maggots and go fishing for some fresher fish! ;)

Shrinky said...

Hi Fen, well now, there's a good point (grin)!

Grandma's scrapbook said...

Bonjour, comment allez-vous? he he! tu es grand

Shrinky said...

Bonjour Grandma's Scrapbook, merci, j'suis bon, qu allez-tu?

Sex, Drugs and Bacon Sandwiches said...

Now there's one fish I'll be steering clear of! And Tescos - how I miss that place!

Anyway, I promised to tell you when I was back, i look different but am back nonetheless - I was eternally distracted when I was not blogging ;))

Shrinky said...

Whoohoo - she's baaaaack! (Doing my happy face dance) - I've missed ya', girl - and I LOVE the new blog title - sooooooo you, hehe..

Putz said...

i just can't leave you and this topic alone<><><>,.why oh why doesn deep fried cod tastwe so so good if it is so so bad for you<><><>i like cod szalted and vinegared and newspapereered and i just can't believe all the people bailing out on this<><><>i guess you are pretty persuasive, carol, or shrinky

Parabolic Muse said...

Now that i've said what I had to about the other, just sayin:


you make me laff!

#1Nana said...

I live over 200 miles from the ocean...no fish I buy here is ever "fresh." Now I'm going to inspect my frozen chunks and see if there are little maggot nuggets attached. Yuck!

Shrinky said...

Aw Putz, you do make me smile. I do still loves me fish and chips, too ('cept I ask for haddock now, in place of cod)!

Shrinky said...

Hey Chrissie, so do you me, so that makes us even (grin)!

Shrinky said...

Oh my, Nana, seems my big sis' has started something here..!

Grayquill said...

Yikes...I have caught cod and seen those nasty worms/parrasites. I'm not eating them even if it is safe - which I don't believe. Creepy!!!

Shrinky said...

Hi GQ, oh my goodness, you have witnessed this first hand - proof positive big sis' is right! Thanks for the confirmation.

Rick said...

Haha poor Hugh! I used to like Cod - second thoughts now! Great post

Land of shimp said...

I am so very glad that I eschew cod as it is. Blech!! Double blech!

Poor Hugh.

Hey Shrinky, how has the winter been treating you and yours? I shall read the other posts to find out.

You may need caller ID in your life, by the way. Let you know early in the morning if you're up for talking to a particularly person. My mother is convinced I haven't been home in years. She calls obscenely early, I look at the caller ID, sip my coffee, roll my eyes and continue to sip my coffee.

Then I return her call later in the day.

Mind you, if she started telling me about cod parasites (which sounds like something you catch at university when not being safe), I'd be even less likely to talk to her.

Shrinky said...

Ha, Rick, I'm an advocate for "ignorance is bliss" as far as this goes for Hugh..! Thanks for the kind words (smile).

Shrinky said...

Hey Alane, you're baaaaaaaaack!! Where the heck have you been hiding yourself, girl? So glad to see you here again (hugs). Aw, big sis' is always good for a laugh, I don't need to screen her calls (tho' there are several others I DEFINITELY need to)!

Rock Chef said...

Hi, how are you? You have been unusually quiet!

Hope all is OK.

Out on the prairie said...

Oh my, I have heard of these in freshwater fish, but not saltwater.I heard in muddy water it was more prominent. Since most come frozen to where I live it would be hard to tell. i don't buy it much, I tend to catch a few or take vacations where it is plentiful.

I liked playing catchup on your blogs. The story of your cousin was unique, I have worked with it a lot.Christmas for a birthday is fun, unless you get one less gift for your birthday. I had a younger brother born at 12:21 so I wanted to name him , Jesus. I still used that monicure when I would see him in later years.I was often the one who picked which present was a birthday one from his Christmas stock.Thanks for stopping in.
Steve

Teri said...

My husband works a medical officer for a seafood company and his ship processes cod in the winter. What your sister said is quite true about the parasites. HOWEVER, there never should have been so many as to have them crawling on the fillets. After the fillets are trimmed they should undergo candling where nemotodes are removed (a few *might* be missed).

Which is why cod should be eaten well done, BTW.

Teri said...

Ah, found this on Himself's company's website: http://www.tridentseafoods.com/company/processing_finfish_np.php#cod

It mentions the candling process.

Cod is great as long is it's well done. Those fish eat ANYTHING... they have cleaned ones with soda cans and other such sea garbage in their stomachs.

lisleman said...

Assuming Hugh is her husband and not a dog or relative that she is looking to inherit from, why would she feed him that? I've never gotten a cod call - very funny.

Nita Davis said...

Boy am I glad I don't eat fish. Ewwwww is an understatement.

Shrinky said...

Lisleman, the cod is still perfectly safe and edible, so I'm told (even if it does make me gag to think of it)!

Shrinky said...

Hi Nita, thanks so much for stopping by, it's good to see you in here. Yeah, I've switched my eating habits since learning this.. ugh!