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Thursday, September 23, 2010

Another Day Begins


It's pitch dark at 6am, a sure reminder winter is tapping us on the shoulder. I savour my precious hour before the kids are roused. Shower, feed the animals, then cook breakfast whilst listening to the news. Civilised, huh? I need it before the 7am scramble. 

By 7.30 Abby's throwing a guilt trip at me.

"Can you test me on my Periodic Tables?"

"I tested you last night."

"I know, can you test me again?"

Obviously the worst mother in the world, I choose to brush her hair up in to a pony-tail instead. She's only showing off. Unlike her, I don't know my Periodic Tables, I'm not about to trip into that embarrassing trap again.

"Bec, do you need me to sign your homework diary?"

"S'alright, I've forged it."

"Good lass. You will remember to help Abby off the coach with her case, won't you?" (She's off on a weekend sleepover straight after school.)
 

Abby thrusts my purse under my nose. "I need some money."

"What for?"

"The cinema and the restaurant."

"But I thought this was a birthday sleep-over?"

"Yeah, but we still have to pay for ourselves."

WHAT?? Bloody cheek. I wouldn't have shelled out so much on the present had I realised.  She's in luck, but only because I was going to pay the milkman this morning. 


Sam thunders down the stairs yanking at his tie. Having yanked it the wrong way, it's welded in to an undo-able knot. Apparently I didn't get the right length for him the first time around, and the world is going to explode. I use a chop-stick for leverage and finally (on the third go) tie it to his exact satisfaction.

I utter the battle-cry, "Time to go!" and all four off-spring miraculously disappear. Jake follows me to the car.

"Not you."

He slinks back, tail dragging.


The Tardis is maliciously beeping at me again. Regardless of the helpful diagram flashing before my eyes, the door is NOT open, and turning right will not bounce Abby spinning across the asphalt. 

Or will it?  (Nah,'course not.)  Anyway, her seat belt's fastened.


"Abby, just open your door and shut it again, will you?"

"Why?"

"'Cause."
Beccy, as ever, gets almost to the car before remembering to turn back to fetch her history project/hockey stick/emergency lip-gloss/'phone with no credits, thus actually freeing her to secretly ditch those not-quite-swallowed vitamin pills (our fish tank may house the healthiest tank of fish ever to swim this side of Douglas). Not that it matters, as usual we're still waiting for Matt, because he knows all the clocks are set at least five minutes ahead anyway, so he can use this extra bonus to fluff with his hair-gel and inadvertently drive me hoarse.  Why he needs to look like an Adonis as he stacks boxes in a warehouse, is beyond me.


Meanwhile, doing a circuit upstairs, Sam's wisely decided not to have any truck with joining us today; he's a motorbike, and as everyone knows, motorbikes don't fit in to cars.

I do so love a calm start to the day.


Ten minutes later, we are loaded up and ready to roll. I chase the coach to the next stop, and park to block it whilst two of my little cherubs leisurely disembark. Sam decides he wants to sit next to me in the passenger seat now, so I continue to hold up three-quarters of King Williams College whilst I endeavour to re seat him, with Matt hissing for me to "Just move it, let's go!". 

Halfway through, Sam changes his mind and makes for the back again. (And people say kids like him have no sense of humour, eh?)

With Matt dispatched, I head back home, only to discover Abby's case still in the boot.


Bugger.


Sam let's out a howl from the hall. Darn, he's had a peek at his cookery ingredients for the day. I wish his teacher would stop baking with eggs, she knows they scare the crap out of him. I promise to tell his escort about them, and we wait for his taxi to arrive.

"No Sam sweetie, you don't have time for another cup of tea. Look - look the taxi's here. No, he doesn't have time for a cup of tea, either."

I wave him off and head back to the beeping Tardus. It's only a twenty mile round trip to drop Abby's case off.

Jake and the beach will have to wait.

56 comments:

Leslie: said...

Just up and checking posts and yours miraculously apeared! Your mornings are so different from mine, although I've been there, done that. All is quiet on the home front here - dark, rainy day and Mr. Cranky still in bed sleeping off his latest chemo and blood transfusion. What I wouldn't give to go back in time to enjoy the hustle and bustle of mornings getting my girls off to school.

TechnoBabe said...

Oh my, and I know you wouldn't trade it for anything.

Rock Chef said...

My kids have one or 2 friends who have those "pay your own way" birthdays - at least we now know who they are, it was a very nasty shock the first time around. Not a trend that I like, I would feel I was cheating if I did that to my kids.

Akelamalu said...

You deserve a medal! LOL

mythopolis said...

I hereby pronounce you, "Queen For A Day"!!! My kids are all grown ups now, and two of them have such stories to tell regarding their little ones. But I do miss their little mischievous selves. My daughter calls, and I answer, "Hi baby!" She says, "Dad, I'm not a baby! I'm forty years old!!!" "I know, baby," I reply.

Another great slice of life. Thanks! Oh, and the handy tip about 'emergency lip gloss'. I'm gonna buy a bunch of that, and throw it into my 'Disaster Preparedness Emergency Kit.' (Next to food rations, jugs of water, and bandages) I'll bet there's all kind of ways to use that stuff! Also loved the 'forged your signature' bit. It's a handy skill for any kid to have. Used it many times myself when teachers sent bad report cards home!

: ) : ) : )

BRUNO said...

Sounds like everything is pretty-much "Shrinky-Normal"!

My Mom's school-day mornings with me an' my Sis's were kinda-sorta the same as you and yours. Well, except there was a bit-more cussin' an' throwin' things.(And that was BEFORE Mom came on the scene!)My Mom had a "Three-Point System", that Dad had taught her, and she then "perfected". It was as follows:

Stage 1. In a moderate tone of voice: "C'mon kids! Time to roll-out!"

Stage 2. A combination of yanking-on legs, and/or prodding with a broom-handle. Usually equally-effective as Stage 1, above.

As a last-resort, Stage 3. The "nuclear-option". Consisted of ONE 3-gallon bucket, which contained SOMETHING called "Cold-H2-0".(Hey, YOU started it with that "Periodic-Table"-crap!)This method NEVER failed, AND it was a time-saver: The morning washing could be by-passed for that day!

Our only difference is our educational-systems. The KIDS are still human-KIDS, like WE once were.

But damned if I don't think that we---as in, YOU, & ME---had a better-education "back-then", as it pertained to common-sense and respect, at least in MY-country...

tattytiara said...

When are you going to fit in curing cancer and eliminating poverty?

Joe Cap said...

Wow. I only have ONE kid, and I can barely keep up. I don't know how you do it.

Bathwater said...

Great morning tale.

mythopolis said...

To Tatty: Surely, you know that if we cured cancer, there would be just that many more people living in poverty!

Portia said...

You call your car the Tardis? Awesome! I have wondered if my soon-to-be-born granddaughter would like a Tardis instead of a princess castle to play in. I've seen plans online and if it is in front of a large closet, it would appear larger on the inside. We'll see what my daughter says. :)

Margaret Benbow said...

All of this post feels oh so true! Even to the detail of your daughter secretly dumping her vitamins...I just learned that one of my children, through all the years that I carefully chose the most magnificent apple, the most perfect peach and grapes for his lunch (I worried because he was the thin one) would ALWAYS dump the fruit. Sweet Jesus God!!! Yet they seem to survive and thrive.

mrsnesbitt said...

And the poor mut misses out on a walk ......how so very true! You will look into those big eyes of his and promise it will never happen again.....until the next time! How do I know? I did it today to my lovely Freida! xx

chewy said...

So, you aren't sick enough not to post. humph! Leave me to discover on my own, eh? (shove)

Stir and repeat tomorrow... only I hope Jake gets to go to the beach.

Robyn said...

now I'm exhausted!

I hope there is time in your day for a little day dreaming.

a hug for you and a cup of tea too

x

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

I get up in the morning ..thank the Goddess for letting me live another day and go get my paper..

Daffy said...

One day it will all be over...and quiet....and we'll be wishing for the chaos again. :o) At least that's what I keep telling myself.

Kristina Hughes said...

What a morning! What do you do when you get home to a quiet house after all that - a long dose of the Wright Stuff and several coffees?? I'm giggling about Sam's tie incident - Jude has to wear a tie too and hates it - actually eats one a month - not joking!

Thanks for another lovely post - am personally still suffering from extreme writers' block......will try to take a leaf out of your book soon!! xx

Fen said...

I think I need a lie down after all that!

Shrinky said...

I know Leslie, time goes so fast, doesn't it? Tonight is the last night my eldest lives at home, tomorrow he off to start the next chapter in his life (lump in the throat)..

TechnoBabe, um, parts of it, yes, I probably could (wink).

Rock Chef, I'm with you, I think it puts the kid in a tough corner. My kids are at a private school, for most of them there money really isn't an issue, and this particular parent has far deeper pockets than most (maybe now I know why)! Another bug-bite of mine is how I am automatically awarded the role the chauffer, I'm happy to take my turn, but I'm sick of it being taken for granted I can do it every time! (Rant over.)

Shrinky said...

Oh, it has it's own rewards (most of the time) Akelamalu!

Hi Dan, regardless of how old your kids might be, they will always be our babies, it's written in the rule book! Ha, talking of lip gloss, when I took my eldest shopping for toiletries (as he leaves for Uni, tomorrow), I couldn't believe what he was filling the cart up with.. lip-balm, face-scrub, moisturiser and conditioner - well okay, fair enough - but HAIRSPRAY?? Sheesh, boys sure have changed since I was a girl!

Shrinky said...

I have to confess Bruno, I would never have dared to try to get away with half of the back-chat my kids give me, to my own dear mum!

Shrinky said...

Tatty, I'm still working on it (wink).

Joe, whoever said anything about me keeping up? Haaaaaaa, don't kid yourself, all I do is put out fires!

Shrinky said...

Hey Bathwater, welcome, how lovely to see you in here, where did you drop by from?

But Dan, the ones we save can get to work on the cure for poverty - win, win, all round!

Shrinky said...

Oh Portia, if your soon-to-be grandaughter has no use for it, please send it my way - I can use all the extra space I can find (smile).

Margaret, over breakfast, I stand over my brood demanding, "Let's see you take your vitamin's.." My eldest finally rebelled, "Mum, I am 18 YEARS OLD, I shouldn't need to DO this anymore." Grudgingly, I realised he had a point, and stopped lining them up for him. The next day I received, "What, I no longer qualify for vitamin's in this house?" (Eyes skywards.)

Shrinky said...

Denise, and the saddest thing of all is they never even bear a grudge, do they?

Shrinky said...

Chewy, I am on the brink of sending myself off to the knacker's yard here, it's only because I am such a true trooper that I'm coughing and spluttering my way through this (AND I've lost my voice)!!

Shrinky said...

Robyn, there always has to be room in the day for a little daydreaming, doesn't there? (Smile)

Jackie, that just sounds a fine way to start the day, to me!

Daffy, that's what I keep telling myself, too..

Shrinky said...

Hi Kristina, haaa, how did you guess? (I also tape Jeremy Kyle, to assure myself there are far more dysfunctional familes than just mine, out there). Too funny! As for your post, it'll come - it always does - like a good pot of tea, it simply needs to brew first, or it just won't be right!

Shrinky said...

Hi Fen, aw it's not so bad, once they are all at school, my time is mine(ish)..

Rock Chef said...

Hah, funny how those with the deepest pockets often have the tightest fists...

And yes, it is nice to be asked if you can do things like that - it is great to see the look of shock on some people's faces when you say "well no, actually I can't. If you had asked I would have been able to tell you."

Bathwater said...

I have no idea where I stumbled on your blog from but it had to be from someone we mutually follow. I'm glad I did.

secret agent woman said...

Boy, I only have two and some times are mornings are just this chaotic. I kind of prefer the mornings I am on my own - so much more leisurely!

Shrinky said...

Rock Chef, I tell 'ya, it's been quite an eye opener going the private route, talk about discovering short arms and long pockets! We were kinda' forced into first placing our eldest in a fee-paying school, he was slipping through the cracks and becoming disruptive. Once he moved to smaller classes, he blossomed. Guilt forced us to into giving the girls the same opportunity, hence our on-going penury. (I never wanted them to accuse us of favouritism.) But tho' I drive a clapped out banger, and our house is forever in sore need of a make-over, we always seem to be the magnet for our kids friends to crash at - seems rich doesn't always automatically guarentee a happy childhood.

Shrinky said...

I am glad you did too, Bathwater, I look forward to visiting with you more (smile).

Shrinky said...

secret Agent, I calculate it's nineteen years since I last had a peaceful morning - I'm rather looking forward to discovering that again!

Sniffles and Smiles said...

I don't know HOW in the world you do it!!!! I'm in TOTAL awe!!! You are simply amazing!! And an inspiration to me!!! Love you!! Janine XO

Shrinky said...

Janine, for all my blusterings, once my feet are out of bed it's no real hardship - I know one day I'm going to look back, sigh, and miss these early morning scambles of ours (grin)!

Fragrant Liar said...

Dang. I'm tired just reading about your morning!

gaelikaa said...

Oh, that rush in the morning! I love it. The adrenaline rush I mean. Nothing like the guilt trip, the forgotten to be signed homework diaries - thank God my kids go to school by taxi.

Sabi Sunshine said...

hahaha loved this post. the Only weather i love is rainy and stormy. you must have loved it.


Have a beautiful Weekend!

Love
Sunshine

Joy Palakkal said...

Touch of a talented hand!!
Hearty congratulations!!!

Shrinky said...

Fragrant, my morning sounds like a walk in the park, compared against the week you've just had (hugs).

Hi Sabi! Ah, well if you had as much rain as we usually do, you may well change your mind on that(wink).

Gaelikka, welcome back sweet lady! Ah, it is all part of life's rich tapestry, isn't it? At least it keeps us on our toes (smile).

Hello Joy, why thank you for those kind words, what a lovely thing to say!

Nancy said...

Oh my. You do have a busy morning. It must be nice to get back home and sit down with a cup of something - whiskey, perhaps? :-)

Kittie Howard said...

Shrinky, you're a great mom with great kids. And when they're grown, the good ole days will live in your posts.

My sis hated peas and tossed them behind the frig whenever she could. Took my mom ages to find that smell.

Shrinky said...

Haha, Nancy, some days that certainly would look very appealing!

Oh Kitty, time moves on so quickly - my firstborn left home (and our island) for Uni only yesterday, it's been quite an emotional week. But like the tale of your sister and those peas, it's amazing the tales I've heard this week from his sib's of all the stuff he got away with down the years (wry grin)!

billy pilgrim said...

your angels will be grown up before you know it. some people miss those days, bloody masochists.

Shrinky said...

Haha, oh Billy I am with you! I never understand those folk suffering from that empty nest syndrome!

SJ said...

I need to show this to my mother to show her how easy it was for her. We have good public transport here in Chennai - albeit built for function than for comfort.

And "stacking boxes in the warehouse" sounds like just the kind of phrase which could be a slang for... oh...oops.

~Babs said...

Just another ordinary day at the Shrinky household.
I'll repeat myself,,,I only had the one to deal with,but I've never done mornings well,,,so I don't know how you do it at all.
God bless you,,,you richly deserve it.
Once in a while this empty nest gets lonely for it's little chick,,,,but it's never in the morning.
:-)

Shrinky said...

Haha, oh SJ, I rather doubt your mother had it very easy at all, raising you for a son! It's pretty obvious she must have had her work cut out..

Bab's, I have to fess up, what I didn't mention in here is that I only do this morning run once every other week - when hubby is home (bless) he takes it over, and I have a blissful lie-in!

Skunkfeathers said...

Your mornings certainly are different from mine, and not just by 8 hours chronologically ;-)

My morning routine is infinitely easier, and on those rare occasions I must ship off the 'off spring', such as I have (a pet rock and his wedded wind chime), I do it via UPS.

Bloody cheeky of me to point that out, I know ;)

Shrinky said...

Skunk, I never knew your pet rock had met and married a wind-chime - what happened to my wedding invite??

Lori said...

My goodness your morning is crazy busy like mine isn't it? :) Does it matter that I say that it is comforting to read that I am not the only one that experiences chaos in my home...mornings or otherwise? Hugs to you...a dear mother that has so much to do that she barely had time to breathe...I promise you, a day will come when you will miss all of this. :) XX

Nick said...

Shame on you for not knowing your periodic tables (I'm a chemist)

Kyna said...

Wow, you never said that you were the star in a travelling circus...O_O

;)