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Saturday, April 2, 2011

This & That

  Mehhhhhhhhhh..

Sweet Sam is in love.  I've never seen him so miserable.  I keep telling him he can't force the poor girl to return his affections, but will he listen?

Falling to the floor as he grabs her leg and sobs, is decidedly uncool.  Ask any woman - constant begging is not sexy, is it?  I'd even venture it's a bit of a turn-off.  

Especially if you slime a trail of snot across her ankle.


The boy is totally, completely and utterly obsessed.  He's determined to will her into loving him, and is currently stalking her. Surprisingly, this tack that doesn't appear to be working so well, either.


('Course this is all my fault for taking his phone away..)

Hey ho.

I had two airport runs on Friday, the first to put the youngest on a flight to London, the second to collect my eldest off the plane from Newcastle.  Matt is home from Uni for the month, and Abby flew out to meet her dad for a belated long-weekend birthday treat - they'll be watching the Manchester United match together on Saturday, and seeing Fulham play at Craven Cottage on Sunday.

Not that she can thank her dad for it.

How the hell he managed to screw up her flights is beyond me, but thank God I just happened to have his credit card to hand, as I checked her in (to the last available seat on the plane).  So much for his saving a bit of cash by booking her in on-line!

In the morning, before leaving, as she will be away on Sunday she decided to treat me to an early Mother's Day surprise.  I stepped out of the shower at 6am to find her clutching a breakfast tray (awwwwwww, bless, eh?).  Okay, granted, I never eat breakfast as a rule, but what the hell, she must have been up around 5.30am to have prepared this treat!  She'd also cooked breakfast for Beccy and herself, so's I could have a little snooze in later, before driving them off.  How considerate!


I climbed back into bed as she perched on the edge, chatting.  Two warm (completely raw and runny) "boiled" eggs with (burned, unbuttered and soggy from being cut up on a wet surface) toast soldiers, washed down with a mug of (more milk than water, tepid, SUGARED) tea.  Yummmmmmmm.. what a treat!
 

I managed not to barf until just shortly after she left the room.


I note today either Beccy or Matt have slipped a scarcely concealed carrier bag full of ingredients into the downstairs fridge - I'm far too scared to peek inside for fear of what lies in store.


So yeah, last night after unloading all his dirty laundry for the wash, Matt caught up with his old school mates, and wow, it was just like he'd never left - here I was with my kitchen invaded, no privacy, and back to hiding my purse again (wink).  I took myself off to bed early planning to watch telly in bed.. 'cept our Sky box in the living room is linked to the one up in my room, the recordings I want to watch need to be selected from the downstairs box.  I'm hardly upstairs five mins before I hear the lads thundering into the living room.

WTF??  

The opening credits for "Women Who Kill"  are abruptly changed on my screen to "Pimp My Crib". 

Yup, sure is good to have the lad home again..

It's been almost a month now since I've quit with the tar.  This electronic ciggy is fab!   Must admit, charging it on the laptop is weird, it looks to have a fag sticking out of it's ear.. complete with  glowing ember.  I think going through the same motions as if I am smoking is a big plus with it, it even gives out a puff of vapour every time you inhale - but um, the kick of nicotine doesn't hurt none, either (blush). 

Trouble with quitting, is you start to see the yellowed paintwork all around you - uck!  And the trouble with me is I am great at starting stuff but am never quite so great with the finishing of it.. 'sides, painting woodwork is such a pain in the arse, isn't it..?  On the up-side, the decorators did give me a good discount for undercoating everything before they arrived.


(Doesn't much look like I'll be going on holiday this year, after all.)

Happy Mother's Day to all who celebrate it tomorrow, hope you find your eggs are cooked, your toast is crisp, and that the cup of tea is served in just the way you like it the most!

54 comments:

Nick Thomas said...

"Falling to the floor as he grabs her leg and sobs, is decidedly uncool...."

Well, it worked for me!

mrsnesbitt said...

Way hay! Good to see you here! Was just thinking about giving you a call - Poor Sam eh!!!! Look for ward to seeing him soon. Booked Elsie - the demonic dog into kennels so our preparations for our holiday have started. Mind you, once the animals are all sorted re luxury accomodation the holiday will go on the back burner as we are busy with DIY in a BIG way! Infact - a hot bath awaits, a comfy sofa, a ready cooked meal, a knackered hubby (we did electrics today!!!) oh and yes - a cold white dry wine wink you know the type I enjoy! lol!((((HUGS)))) Dxx

Kristina Hughes said...

Ooooh - exciting re: the magic cigarette. Will be ordering mine in due course (after the Easter hols, when the dust settles - excuses, excuses!). Well done, you!

Bless Sam - love is complicated but - Jeez - that must be particularly tricky. Poor chap.

Happy Mothers Day, Shrinky! Hope no more runny egg breakfasts in store for you.
xxxx

Mushy said...

Mother's Day!? Have I missed it this year? Hope so.

Portia said...

Since I live in the US I had to quick check the date. Mother's Day is in May, here!

Poor Sam! I really feel for him! Sure hope he finds someone who loves him as well.

Leslie: said...

Oh gee, poor Sam! My ex is just starting to let go a bit - he was like a toddler hanging on my ankle, so needy it was a real turnoff!

Good for you substituting the faux-ciggy for the real. You'll be all the better for it. And the paint, well, it can be changed...one day.

Oh yes, Mother's Day is in May here, like Portia's USA one. But Happy Mother's Day anyway! :D

li said...

Hahahahaha the laptop with a fag in its ear...maybe that's what mine needs to speed it up a little. And jeez, I'd be grateful to have a guy crying and snotting on my leg!
Sounds like a busy household. I commend you for eating the breakfast, I just couldn't no matter who had cooked it or how much love went into it. Happy Mother's Day :)

Ms. A said...

I love my e-cig, too... when I can remember to keep them charged! If every puff was as good as the first few, I'd be even more sold on them.

foam said...

the joy of teens, eh?
popped in via x.dell. have seen you around on sj's blog .. whenever he does post.
have a nice mom's day!

Cheeseboy said...

I do think that somehow, somewhere every teenage kid's problem can be boiled down to "someone taking their phone away."

Kate said...

Happy Mum's Day, Shrinky....even though you've scarred your offspring for life;) Good for you and the rechargable cig. That idea is pure brilliance-just like your writing!

Matt Conlon said...

Alright, you had me a little bit paniced, I had no idea the UK had a different mother's day than we do in the US...

I still have until May 8th. PHEW.

Postman said...

Well, shoot...Matt's going to Uni in Newcastle? We've probably had a drink in some of the same pubs, then.

Now, it would be nice if we COULD will the one we love into loving us in return...but it might also be less fun. This is a great chance for the lad to stretch his romantic wings. I'd suggest flowers, notes (the non-sappy kind) and well-placed, tasteful compliments should do for a start.

Grandma's scrapbook said...

Indeed the perfect post, your great efforts can be anything I wish you all the best and enjoy this wonderful spring morning.

Akelamalu said...

The breakfast sounds errr..... lovely. Still it's the thought that counts isn't it? ;)

Well done on giving up the fags for a month. That month will soon turn into 6 then before you know it it will be 12!

Happy Mothers Day to you Shrinky.

mythopolis said...

Well, the cost of smokes these days is enough to make one want to quit. I knew smoking might wind me up in a hospital one day, but I didn't imagine it by way of the poorhouse!

Your breakfast story made me recall my toddler son in the sand box. He filled a cup with sand, then stuffed some leaves in, and topped it with a little stick. Then he said, "Here's your coffee, daddy." So, I pretended to sip it, and talking about oh, how good it was, and he looked at me and said, "Did you like the leaves?" (Except he couldn't say 'leaves', it was more like 'weefs'.) Of course I replied that the leaves were the best part!!

Shrinky said...

Nick, stop encouraging him (giggle)!

Shrinky said...

Hey Denise, gimme a call, let me know the dates you're over so's we can meet up again, eh?

Shrinky said...

Hiya Kristina, yup, that e-ciggie is worth is's weight in gold, so it is! Oh Sam. Sigh. It's complicated - the girl he adores also has special needs.. and she blows hot and cold with him - he is on cloud nine one minute then broken hearted (most of the time) the next..

Shrinky said...

False alarm, Mushy - yours has yet to come (smile)..

Shrinky said...

I have mixed feelings Portia - Sam is almost 18, but he has a comprehention level of a six year old. It's difficult.

Shrinky said...

Oh Leslie, that must have been so hard for you - I can't imagine how you coped.

Shrinky said...

hey Li, how lovely to see you in here, welcome aboard! I'll let Sam know he can snot-encrust your leg anytime, careful for what you wish (evil grin)..!

Shrinky said...

Ms A, that is a huge down side to the e-ciggy, isn't it? All the same, it is the only method that seems to have worked for me, so I guess I just have to live with it (sigh).

Shrinky said...

Cheeseboy, I suspect you have a very valid point there!

Shrinky said...

Cheers foam, thanks for the visit, I am really pleased to see you in here!

Shrinky said...

Aw Kate, I love it when you visit, you always say the nicest of things!

Shrinky said...

HAHA Matt, I can almost picture that rabbit trapped in the headlights look, before you realised it was alright after all!

Shrinky said...

Hi Postman, oh I am guessing Matt has probably become acquainted with virtually all the pubs in Newcastle by now, so it's odds on you have both drank from the same watering hole somewhere along the line! As for Sam.. sadly, he's not the subtle kind where it comes to romance - his learning difficulties tend to get in the way.

Shrinky said...

Hi Grandma's Scrapbook, I hope you are making the most of the spring sunshine?

Shrinky said...

Hiya Akelamalu, yeah, it's good not to wake with a wheeze anymore!

Shrinky said...

Oh Dan, you think smokes in the States are expensive? They cost over £6 a pack over here! yeah, it sure is a great incentive to help with the quitting. As to your mud coffee.. (smiling) the things we do for our kids, eh?

chewy said...

Everything is Mom's fault. (wink) And your fault for the dirty kitchen after the girls cook or the lads eat and run. (giggle) A good re-decorating should lift your spirits... and those e-cigs are nice and non-yellowing, smoke-free. - "Women Who Kill"? - Yikes!

Ami said...

Excellent news on getting rid of smoking. I quit 18 years ago for the final time. So glad I did.

I'm not a great painter, either. I hate home improvement projects. They make me more insane than I am already.

And a Happy Mother's Day to you. We have that particular holiday in May in the US.

secret agent woman said...

That description of Sam's love-sickness cracked me up.

Your Mother's Day is now? Ours is in May. Happy Mother's Day to you!

Rock Chef said...

Poor Sam. Love is so cruel at that age!

Shrinky said...

Hey Chewy, don't dis my taste in viewing, it sure beats "Pimp my Crib"! And, hmn, I'm done with decorating, it makes my arm ache..

Shrinky said...

I despair Secret Agent, the boy has no pride!

Shrinky said...

Oh Rock Chef, he's just one huge rolling ball of hormones right now (sigh).

Sandra said...

Leaving snot on your honey's ankles might be construed as rude by some, but gotta give the boy credit for knowing what he wants.
Interesting: I had no idea that different countries celebrated mother's day on different dates. Here in Canada it's in May. Goodie, I get to look forward to my runny eggs and soggy toast.

Putz said...

mother's day is not tommorrow ,,.,.this must be an older post<<>i thought for a minute i must have forgotten the day and the wrath of my wife was about to envelope over me like a shroud

Shrinky said...

I'm with you, Sandra - snot is a bit of a turn off for me (shrug).. great to see you in here - thanks for stopping by!

Shrinky said...

No Putz, surprisingly this ISN'T an old post, we really do celebrate Mother's Day on the 3rd April over here - I recall being equally surprised when I learned not everyone celebrates it on this date, too (smile).

X. Dell said...

(1) Good luck kicking the habit. You can always tell folks that your laptop only smokes when it's drunk.

(2) It's next to impossible to reason with a heart in love. It's absolutely impossible to reason with a heart obsessed. Maybe spending some time at home with his friends will help get what's-her-face out of his head.

I do fear any type of stalking behavior, though, because that could get him into some serious trouble. I hope he has the wisdom to let go.

As the song says, "Love Stinks."

(3) Dads screw up all types of things. Just ask Homer Simpson.

(4) I take it you don't like sugar in your tea. Of course, with all that sugar and cream, it should have given you a jolt of energy. And if musclebuilders eat raw eggs by custom, maybe she just want's to see you in top fighting shape, should you decide to enter the ring (I'm guessing you're a bantamweight).

Of course it's the thought that counts. A belated Happy Mother's Day. Us Yanks won't celebrate it for another month, so I have time to get mom something nice.

(5) Um, "Women Who Kill"? Remind me to keep a polite distance between us, always:-)

SJ said...

Women who kill! I assume/hope that your interest is merely voyeuristic not participatory.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Poor Sweet Sam. Being in love can be really tough on a guy--not to mention the girl.

Your breakfast in bed sounds, um, delicious-- but as they say, "it's the thought that counts".

A house full of guys again! I'll be everything is upside down for the next month but I'm guessing you're loving it.

Have fun and happy mother's day! xo jj

Margaret Benbow said...

Shrinky, you are the queen of a lively and loving brood. Congratulations, runny boiled eggs and all!

lines n shades said...

the best of yours i've read, till now :)

chewy said...

Oh... your finger must ache from dialing those decorators. LOL!

Suldog said...

The electronic ciggy really works for you? Very cool. Nothing seems to work for me. Haven't tried that, though.

Robyn said...

No other tells a story like you.
Your life is very colourful in words and I love it.

best wishes
Robyn

Robyn said...

PS... on the topic of smoking.

There is a very helpful book you can read titled "the easy was to stop smoking' by Allen Carr

Well worth reading if you are serious about stopping forever.

x

Raven said...

Yes, obsession and stalking are never good. It's no way to impress. ;)

I need to get me one of those electric ciggys. So bad.

Hope your Mum's Day was awesome!

Middle Child said...

Our Mother's day is in May - what date is yours? One Mother's day my daughters made me a cup of tea and coffee in the one cup - they knew I liked both so gave me both at once and watched me drink it - was wondering were they genuine or were they secretly laughing at my fake attempts to love the concoction