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Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Henry

can of worms do not open









As a child would in a lucky dip, Paige gropes around deep down inside of herself, but only to come up surprisingly empty.  She's lanced all emotion with the act of bludgeoning Henry to death.

The damn fool had walked into the mallet almost before she'd caught herself swinging it.

She probably had meant to do it, Lord knows, she'd certainly fantasised about it often enough, but it still came as a bit of a surprise when it actually played out that way.

Mind you, her surprise paled into a tiny, wee, small blip, on the measurement scale of caught-off-guardedness, compared to the complete and massive shock which must've greeted Henry.  He'd literally just walked in through the door and wallop, there his nose up and disappeared.


The second blow had him staggering backwards in a drunken parody of the Quick-Step, catching him up against the sink, and splattering a curved arc of blood and bone across the ceiling.   It was the third one that probably did for him, throwing him sideways to the floor as it had, and the fourth, fifth and twentieth were now, upon reflection, probably overkill, but at the time Paige had wanted to be thorough.

Now she felt quite certain he was completely dead.  Just goes to show what a tragic waste of time, all this eternal fretting over getting old can turn out to be.  And as for the vanity, humph, no amount of preening in the world looked ever likely to put that head back together again.

Sitting in the eerie aftermath, Paige stares for a while at the puddle of gore by her heel, noting bits of grayish flotsam speckling the crimson - pieces of Henry's brain.  Paige wonders which part of him it recently controlled - perhaps the womanising, or possibly his sarcasm - maybe that particular globule dictated the mean streak? All moot of course, since most of what is left of Henry and his dubious personality, are now only strewn pieces of blood and tissue.

Carefully avoiding the piece of counter-top stuck with goo-of-Henry, Paige pulls herself upright by the overhead work-surface, and blinks, focusing on the reeking quagmire spread before her.  The stench is unexpected, and makes her gag.

He's made an awful mess.

Still, it's hardly his fault.  It is the last time she'll be cleaning up after him, and at least he'd had the good grace to be dispatched in the kitchen.  Most of the surfaces should scrub down clean, and she notes even the spanking new Venetian blinds might still be salvaged with a little extra effort.

Her head throbbing and sinuses aching, she feels so bone-weary tired, all she wants to do is to curl up into a tight ball and close her eyes, but a sharp, inner voice, that of survival, is savagely shrieking at her to get moving, and to set about what needs to be done.

Her eye falls to Henry, lying slouched on his side, up against the cooker, and reality glumly rears it's unwelcome head.  Before setting the kitchen to rights, she has to settle the awkward question of What The Fuck To do With Henry first.   

She thinks it probably best just to take him to the tip, but how the hell will she ever manage to cart him up there?  The bastard never could stick to a diet. 

Fortunately, good under pressure, Paige's mind races to the dog-ramp for the car-boot, and links it to the garden trolley.

GOTCHA'! 

She heads off in search of sack-cloth and twine.

26 comments:

Jinksy said...

Oh, my! What a blog pot to stumble upon on a grey day! hehehe! Now I'll have to do a bit of trawling backwards to see what I've missed...

Shrinky said...

Hi there Jinksy, awww, you are such a good sport, thank you for that, my friend (grin).

chewy said...

Oopsie...That'll teach Henry for staying out all night. Lights out! - "goo-of-Henry" (evil giggle)

Bijoux said...

This was probably not the post to sit down to with a plate of chips and salsa now, was it?

Akelamalu said...

Oooooer Henry!

Suldog said...

Holy shit! And I said I was intrigued before...

This is great stuff, and you should send these first four chapters off to some publisher or another immediately. If whoever reads it doesn't demand the rest of it (like I'm doing now...) then that person has no imagination whatsoever.

[Couple of small edits to point out: Fourth paragraph, "surprised" should be "surprise", I assume, and "blimp" should probably be "blip", right?]

mythopolis said...

Haha! "but at the time Paige wanted to be thorough"!! Damn right, if you are going to start something, you need to finish it! Follow through is very important where bludgeoning is concerned! And now the problem of the body! Actually when I bludgeon people, I just hire somebody to clean up the mess. I only enjoy the creative part. : )

Ami said...

So, is everything okay, Shrinky dear?

Leslie: said...

My goodness, Shrinky! You've got talent just like Kate Atkinson or Lynda LaPlante! Keep going! :D

Ms. A said...

It's amazing what comes out of that brain of yours! Hmmm, if it's in that brain of yours, does that mean you have a dark side?

Fragrant Liar said...

So this is the evil that lurks in your mind. So dark and twisted and fun! Enjoyed it, Shrinky girl!

silly rabbit said...

Ha! So much for that piece of trouble. Paige... she's a thinker and a doer. I'll give her that.

As always, totally entertaining and well done!

Dave said...

Hmm, now that's gory! I hope we find out if she gets away with it? - Dave

Shrinky said...

Chewy, it scared me at how much I enjoyed writing this (eeek)!

Shrinky said...

Hi Bijoux, oh, er (blush) - sorry 'bout that..!

Shrinky said...

Well said, Ake.

Shrinky said...

Hiya Sully, ha, thanks for the proofing, no, I DIDN'T want it to read that way, and have gone right in to correct it - cheers hon. Aww, you always make my day, you. But you flatter me, these aren't real chapters at all, just random ideas that I might or might not shape into a cohesive plot - but I'm tickled pink at the kind words, thank you kind Sir!

Shrinky said...

Gee Dan, I never had you pegged for being so lazy (wink), I was always taught to clear up my own messes..

Shrinky said...

Just a bad case of the PMT I guess, Ami (giggle)!

Shrinky said...

Blimey Leslie - I WISH!! But you have just gone and made my entire week with that - see my grinning, happy face? (x)

Shrinky said...

Ms A, dark side? Moi? As if.. (evil grin)!

Shrinky said...

Hey there Fragrant, great to see you again. Aw, a poor girlie has to find her kicks where she can, y'know?

Shrinky said...

Hiya Silly Rabbit - oh Paige isn't ALL bad, everyone has their off days, huh?

Shrinky said...

Hi Dave, I'm still trying to figure that one out, myself - we'll see, eh?

bill lisleman said...

Based on the popularity of shows like Dexter and CSI, there must be a common interest in thinking about what goes through the mind of murderer. It was pleasantly (can you use that word in murder) surprising to have Paige looking at the bits of brain wondering which parts controlled what.
I don't think most murderers give enough detail planning to the clean-up.

Barbara Shallue said...

Holy cow, you have got a knack for keeping the humor in the grisly! Great job!