Pages

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Call of Duty


Yes, 'tis true I don't get out much.

Some might say that's just as well.  Considering.

However, come Monday week I've been called up for jury service. When I telephoned to confirm I'd received the notice, I quizzed them as to what it was all about. The silly girl wouldn't tell me a thing, apparently that could influence my opinion (huh?), but she did tell me to make myself available for TWO WHOLE WEEKS.

Oooh - what if it's a juicy murder trial? Just think of all the lovely blog-fodder it might throw up!

Hey, what if I get nobbled? I'd best warn hubby to keep an eye out for kidnappers. Mind you, if Jake goes missing I'll know it was him (those two really should really try to bond more). 


Perhaps I might be offered a bribe? 'Course, I wouldn't accept one, well, not necessarily..

Eeeeeee, do you think we'll be sequestered? I've been longing for a few days off from the housework and cooking, and the great thing is, there isn't even anywhere to park. Whey-hey! Hubby will have to ferry me there and back, in between juggling all the off-spring to and fro.

Can you believe I am even going to get paid expenses for this? Ha, don't they know I'd happily pay THEM? Now, don't get me wrong, I know there are bound to be some boring bits, but so long as I remember to pack my i-pod and a flask of wine, I'm sure I'll be fine..

Talking of wine, I could have kicked myself on Sunday. Trust me to smile and nod to the only drunk on the beach. I thought he was swaying 'cos he was disabled. I felt bad seeing as how everyone else around was giving him such a firm body-swerve (I'm a bit over-sensitised at times). I didn't twig 'til he almost fell on me.


Damned wino wouldn't leave me be after that. As for that dog of mine - he's gone from hero to zero. Never a one to pass up a play-pal, he only went and fetched every single pebble the guy threw. He can forget that steak, count on it (the mutt, not the wino; not that I'm about to be offering him any, either).

In the end, I decided to run away. Surprised, Jake reluctantly cottoned on, and (eventually) joined me. 'Course, I knew this guy wouldn't catch me, but hell, I really didn't expect him to try so hard.  Near gave me heart failure, so's it did! 

Sheesh.

Hubby tells me he wants to be a postman. This is not news, he's said it before. I don't know why he always acts so surprised when I inform him that unless we win the lotto, he'll need to keep up with his growdie-up job for now.


He agreed to fly back to London for the week if I'd promise to give it some thought. S'pose I'd best crack on with that book then, eh? It'll need to be a best seller if I'm soon to keep us in the standard we hope to become accustomed to.

(sigh).

Update:  That rotten kill-joy hubby of mine has only gone and made me claim undue hardship over serving on this jury call I've had.  Seems ONE of us has to be around for the kids.  He also points out if I allowed him to be a postie, he wouldn't have to be off the isle at all, thus freeing me up to attend as many would-be murder trials as my little heart desires.  That's nothing but sheer and outright blackmail that is, isn't it?

51 comments:

Akelamalu said...

Have they let you off jury service then? I've never been called on (so far, I think I'd find it quite interesting. Let him be a postie - don't be mean. ;)

Shrinky said...

Apparently I qualify, since I'm a "carer" (mumble, mumble).. and OF COURSE I'll let him be a postie, Ake, just as soon as he retires on a full pension from his regular job!

A said...

Is it really a murder trail? It could get quite interesting!!

Shrinky said...

Hi A, thanks for dropping by. Hmph, guess I'll never know now, will I? Still, the last murder we had over here WAS over ten years ago, so the likelihood is doubtful..

Leslie: said...

Aw, what a spoil sport! I'd LOVE to serve on a jury, especially if it's something really gross and complicated. Like you, it would get me out of my "normal" life. lol

Shrinky said...

I am with you, Leslie - this is the only time I have EVER been called for juror service, and now I've had to cry off from it, I doubt I'll ever be given another summons (pout)!

Tabor said...

Childcare and health are the primary reasons they let citizens off jury duty in this country. Be careful in blogging...only do it after the trial is finished as that could squirrel things nicely for all concerned.

Shrinky said...

Oh, t'was only meant tongue in cheek about my blogging it as it played out, Tabor, but it's all moot anyway, considering I'm no longer going to serve (inserting a deep, heartfelt sigh).

Kittie Howard said...

Love your sense of humor! The wino bit had be laughing. Sorry about your jury duty. You could be missing the case of the century - and book deals about how you voted and why. But, just to be on the safe side (in case the jury fairy lurks), I closed the blinds before commenting.

Shrinky said...

Kitty, my kids have NO IDEA of the sacrifices I have to make for them - there but for the grace of God, I could/might/perhaps have held sway on what may prove to be the biggest, most televised crime of the century (s'not fair)..

Portia said...

Here in the US it can be difficult to get out of Jury Duty. I've never actually thought of it as a break from the everyday, though, so maybe I will look forward to the jury summons now!

mythopolis said...

Yes, it would be interesting to sit in on a murder trial. I got called upon and it turned out perfectly boring. Jurors sat around in the courthouse each day waiting for the judge. Then we'd all file in and it would be some case of how one guy damaged somebody'else's property...the lawyers would talk amongst themselves and then agree to settle out of court. Then we would go sit around and wait for whenever the next case was scheduled. It would e more of the same. It went on this way the entire time I served and I was never even called upon once to render my verdict of guilty or innocent about anything!

Now, if you had gotten called in on a murder case they would likely have determined you unsuitable and dismissed you since they would have studied your profile and once they had read your blog post (about bringing wine with you to the proceedings and other odd quirky comments) they would tell you to go home! : )

I, of course, love your quirkiness!!! : )

Bijoux said...

Jury duty is the worst! I've been called four times now (the last two were so close together that I was able to get out of it). And I still have never been able to cast a vote of guilty or innocence. Here, you just sit in a room for days and wait for your name to be called, while the judges take 3 hour lunches. It's ridiculous.

Chantel said...

Hah--I was called for jury duty ONCE. I informed them that my father was a treasury and narcotics officer, I was married to a convicted felon (first husband), and I was 8 months pregnant.

I think they black-listed me.

Shrinky said...

Hi Portia, your chosen blog name alone should highly recommend you for the job (smile)!

Nick said...

Bummer, was looking foward to some juicy trial details. Guess no throwing up of fodder now.

Shrinky said...

Hey Dan, hell,first they would need to link these posts to ME!!! Mind, if juror service really is as dull as you've experienced it, maybe I've received a narrow escape?

Shrinky said...

Yikes Bijoux, I can see my i-pod and flask of wine might have proved a sound investment under those kinda' circumstances - hmph, I am now thoroughly disallusioned - and there was me thinking it would be all like it is on Court TV!

Ms. A said...

I'd still like to get out of mine, however, I still have to show up, even though I doubt I'd ever be selected for a panel. If they told me to prepare for two weeks... they'd have to shoot me!

Secret Agent Woman said...

What the hell is nobbled?

I did jury duty. It was kind of interesting, but many of the juror's had thought processes that made me despair for the world.

sage said...

I've been called for jury duty so many times I've lost count--twice for the big leagues (federal court) but the only trial I served on was when I was 21 (and it was a murder trial and somewhere in my archives I blogged about it).

bill lisleman said...

wow it could have been the next great train robbery! Oh wait, I bet you don't have any trains on the Isle? Oh Oh the next great beach robbery - speedos in broad daylight. Do you call them the same thing the Aussies do? Budgie Smugglers.

Shrinky said...

Haha, Chantel, I take it you were excused? Too, too funny..!

Shrinky said...

Hi Nick, sadly no, it appears not (inserting my best pout)..

Shrinky said...

Actually Ms. A, I truly do feel for your plight, I know how much you are dreading this. Seems ironic you are forced to serve when there appears to be an abundance of folk who would quite gladly swap with you - doesn't really make sense, does it? Good luck with it hon, lets hope it's all over and done with soon, eh?

Shrinky said...

Hi Secret Agent, nobbled? Oh, Brit slang for "got to", ie., if a race horse is nobbled, it may be drugged before a race - I used it (jestingly) in the term of jury tampering.

Hmn. Maybe, in light of what you say, folk should be required to sit an IQ test before being selected for jury service? (Wink)

Shrinky said...

Ha, that's right Sage, just go and rub my nose in it, why don't you? (I am so jealous!) Hey, maybe you should re-post that account, it sounds fascinating..

Shrinky said...

Yi, yi, yi Bill, not only do we have trains, we have the original ones that provided the inspiration for Thomas The Tank Engine!

And yeah, who knows what great crimes I've been denied the pleasure of reporting on, eh? (S'not fair!!)

Furtheron said...

I colleague of mine just got called up... he landed a 6 week fraud trial! I should keep quiet I've never been called - maybe they read my blog and have black listed me ;-)

Rock Chef said...

Get your husband watching reruns of The Good Life - that will give him some even better ideas" Just think of the stuff you could blog about then! Go on, you owe it to your dedicated readers!

Shrinky said...

Ah, a fraud trial? Gawd, for a whole six weeks? Crikey Furtheron, maybe I should be counting my blessings?

Shrinky said...

OMG RC, don't be going and putting any silly ideas into that head of my hubby - knowing him, he'd be all for picking up that daft challenge and running with it - I need to reel him in enough as it is!

Grayquill said...

Nobbled...who uses that word? oh you do! I am so sorry you will not have the opportunity to be nobbled (i am feeling so english). I was overjoyed as I noted you still have some power to regulate hubby...such an important work. Get writing that best seller I think hubby is going to make a break for it. I heard he bought a pair of those blue shorts (are they blue there?)Oh maybe the blue shorts would not do for the very proper english - silly me. Well regardless, I would be checking his wardrobe for mail carrier garb.

Charles Gramlich said...

I did get to set on a trial once, and it was a murder trial, or at least a wrongful death trial. It was pretty awful in the actual experience, but it certainly did feed me a lot of details for my writing.

Thanks for your comments regarding "Days of Beer" over at Sage's blog. Your husband and I would probably get along quite well over a few brews.

Shrinky said...

SHORTS, GQ?? In this climate? (Snort) Fat chance! Mind, it would almost be worth encouraging him, to wave him off in those - heeeeeee! Bet he'd find himself nobbled on his first route..

Shrinky said...

Hey there Charles, so good to see you in here, thanks for stopping by. Oh I am quite serious about the book, hubs is not an easy man to buy for, but this one is definitely up his street.

Blimey, you actually sat in as a juror in a wrongful death trial? I imagine it probably was very taxing on the soul, but it must also have provided a wealth of information for the writer in you. With all jesting aside, with the crime rate over here virtually low to nil, the most I could have hoped for would have been some white collar fraud crime - our island is a tax haven, and reputed to be a prime target for money laundering.

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

well...that sucks.

Shrinky said...

Yup, it sure does, JackieSue.

nancygrayce said...

I loved reading this! You're so funny and by the way, what in the world is nobbled? So sorry you didn't get to have a little vacation away sequestered in a motel! :(

Joanna Jenkins said...

I'm afraid I'd rather work then be suck on Jury Duty-- It's. So. Boring.

xo jj

Shrinky said...

Hi there nancygrayce, thanks for popping over, it's good to see you in here. Nobbled? Oh, Brit slang for "got to", ie., if a race horse is nobbled, it may be drugged before a race - I used it (jestingly) in the term of jury tampering.

Shrinky said...

Hi JJ, hmn, my perfect picture of sitting in a Perry Mason courtromm is sure being eroded in here - maybe it's just as well I'm not attending, at least I can leave still clutching that image!

Fenstar de Luxe said...

ooh it was probably a dead boring case anyway! I sat in on a case years ago, when I was in high school. That was an interesting one.

~Babs said...

I'm still giggling over "Growdie up" job. Love that!

Called to duty once, determined to get out of it, as I was self employed, and no work=no pay.
NO chance. Called, you serve!
What they pay barely covered gasoline and parking, not to mention lunch.I did sit on a check forgery case, which was interesting. I enjoyed the experience after realizing there was no way out, and I'd just have to suck it up and lose a whole week's work, and pay.I think the most interesting part was watching all the different types of people who show up. So scarey to think of being the person at trial and some of those people as my jurors.Made me go the straight and narrow, for sure!
(he was guilty as they come,we all thought so,,, but unfortunately it wasn't proven)
My 19 year old daughter served 3 weeks on a very nasty murder case;the victim an 82 year old woman.Tortured, murdered, and burned for $65.00. Daughter missed an important college exam, and was traumatized to boot.Not a good experience for one so young.He was found guilty as charged, and remained on death row,,,some 12 or 13 years. He's gone now, but she still speaks of it occasionally.
This was all in Oklahoma, I don't know how it all works here in Texas, other than there is an express lane for death row here, for anyone brave enough to commit such a heinous crime.They aren't allowed to luxuriate with 3 hots and a cot for long here.

~Babs said...

Ooooh, I apologize for such a rant, ha,,,I didn't realize I'd written so much!
(blushing)

Dave said...

Jury Service can be an interesting experience. Have you done it before Carol? - Dave

Shrinky said...

Hah, at last Fen, someone who wasn't bored to death as a juror - I live in hope!

Shrinky said...

OMG Bab's, I forget a lot of your States still has the death penalty - I can't imagine how a 19yr old would cope with such a heavy responsibilty, as a mother my blood runs cold at the very thought!

It's beyond belief you weren't compensated for your loss of earnings for the week you were called for jury duty - little wonder so few willingly answer that call to serve. I'm pretty sure loss of earnings IS covered over here, but with a cap on it, I think.

Yeah, this business of being tried by a "random" selection of our peers is very hit or miss, don't you think? I personally wouldn't mind an amendment being added to that, in order to have a true peer selection - everyone who sits in judgement should have a roughly equal IQ to the person on trial!

Shrinky said...

No Dave, not once, which is why I'm so ticked off at having to pass up on the call!

Hilary said...

The only time I've ever nodded off in public was while on jury duty. So did the other 11. This was an assault trial and the three men who were on trial and the victim all needed translators, so everything was relayed twice. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Suldog said...

From my own jury duty experience, I wouldn't wish the same on my worst enemy.

Well, maybe my worst enemy, but certainly not you. But, who knows, maybe you'd get a more fun trial.