Monday, March 24, 2008
Here I am sandwitched between Little Ally and her mum, taken last month. I've known them forever. I miss my friends. Since moving from London I've kind of isolated myself a bit. I know lots of folk, but it's not the same. Nutty Nora next door drives me demented, as do most of the "ladies who lunch" set that I feel oblidged to tolerate for the sake of my kids.
But Little Ally, she's my sister, and I love her to pieces. I've been to her eighteenth birthday party, cried at her wedding, and again over her divorce. She's nursed me through a broken heart, my mother's suicide and the acceptance of my child's mental disability. I can pick up the phone day or night and know she's there for me. It cuts both ways.
I usually either stay with her, or she stays with me when I visit London. We revert to teenage delinquents, stay up all night and drink far too much. We interrupt to finish each others sentences, giggle like school kids. and hatch evil plots to execute a Thelma and Louise type getaway together. She's seen me at my best, and has healed me at my worst. But the thing is, distance is a barrier and I can't just pop over for that coffee and a chat like I used to.
I've been on my own for most of the week, and as I had no car I was also housebound. The family took off to our place in London, leaving my eldest and me behind. He has some serious exams to sit after Easter and needed to hit the books. I had a sneaky suspicion that if left to his own devices he and his mates were more likely to hit the Vodka and our phonebill over any swotting up, so I elected to stay behind to "help" with his revision. Went down like a lead balloon, but I wasn't born yesterday.
Anyhows, he buckled down, did a fair bit of studying, and when he wasn't in his room doing that, he was off out with his mates. I barely exchanged three sentences a day with him, I usually woke after he'd left for the gym, and didn't see him unless he and his mates were cluttering up the kitchen.
I'd kind of looked forward to this week, a chance to write, pamper myself, contemplate. I'd planned to take long walks with the dog, potter about in the garden, read some of those books I've always meant to but haven't quite yet got around to picking up. Except. We had rain and storms all week, the telly was crap, and I couldn't seem to settle in to much of anything.
It got boring.
The first couple of days were fine. It hit me, I have no friends over here. It's my own fault, I beat people off with a stick, it's too much of a hassle to get to know them. I want to find an intant Little Ally clone without laying down all the time and energy it took for us to get to know each other so well. It's not going to happen. I guess I need to make the effort for that (sigh).
I can feel another London trip building.. (Wink)