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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Life's too Short

"You're not much of a cleaner, are you?"


I'd be tempted to ram my sponge-scourer straight down the gullet of anyone less, but coming as it does from Sweet Sam, it was all I could do to keep a straight face. I took the basin carrying various sprays and detergents from him that I'd left sitting a-top of his loo, "Sorry love, I meant to clean your bathroom today, but I forgot."

"Well you should write it down then!"

It's not that I haven't cleaned his bathroom, he doesn't give a hoot about that, it's that I had the temerity to clutter up his space with alien objects. But that aside, I do have this tendency to flit from one task to another, I always mean to finish what I start, but it doesn't always work out that way particularly if the task involved is cleaning (spit). I leave the kids to pick up their own rooms, if they want to live in squalor, that's their choice. Since they are usually embarrassed enough to clear a space for when friends are due, it's never fallen to the point of fumigation. I'm perfectly happy to ignore the top layers of dust around the house, vacuuming is usually reserved for the threat of visitors descending. Mind you, I'm not an entire slut, all the loos get scrubbed once a month, need it or not.

This week I've been shamed into neatness because the window-cleaner is due round. Don't you just hate that? Normally I'd be happy to simply draw the curtains and be done with it, but as he also does the inside, it wouldn't serve much purpose (except to hide the dirt a bit). Besides, he's not only any old window cleaner, his step daughter and my eldest once used to be an item together, and I'm not entirely sure (it's hard for me to keep up sometimes), but as he did bring her over for lunch last Sunday, I think they might be together again. In truth, the prospect of having her step-dad inspecting every room in my house is the last of my worries - my big sis is coming to stay soon, she of the cleaning lady and no kids at home. Much as I love her, I've managed to fool her for years I'm a neat freak, I'm hardly about to blow my cover now.

Yes, okay, I'm a sad old sack really, just don't tell anyone. I shouldn't be sitting here chatting to you lot at all, since I still have half of Beccy's bedroom to finish up (she's in England at present, I have no choice but to do it myself). Guess I must press on.. after I make a phone call or two. Actually, come to think of it, I really do need to make a trip into town today, not to mention drop that laptop Bec spilt a can of coke over last week, in to the shop.. and that's before I even think about what to make for supper tonight. Ah, what the hell, I still have another days grace to get around to the cleaning.

(Wink.)

39 comments:

Hilary said...

I'm glad I'm not alone. How anything else can not take precedence over cleaning is beyond me. Well told. :)

Suldog said...

You and Hilary are both right. Everything takes precedence over cleaning. Cleanliness next to Godliness? Piffle. Have you seen some of the mess God has left laying about?

Cuckoo said...

I empathize with you on this.

Cleaning we must do, why it has to take the top priority, I don't understand. Are we such a show offs? Or do we feel guilty somewhere ?

Cuckoo

Shrinky said...

Hilary, I knew I liked you - life is for living, not cleaning (grin).

Shrinky said...

Suldog, whoever invented the sentiment that cleanliness is next to Godliness obviously never had a squad of kids living underfoot, or if they did, they were obviously sadists!

Shrinky said...

Cuckoo, I think you absolutely right on that one - it's equal amounts of shame and guilt that spurs most of us into action!

Jay said...

Housework? AAAGHHHH!!!! *Runs from room tearing at hair*

I hate housework. It doesn't help that it actually hurts me physically to do it, but even before it did that, I hated it.

CHEWY said...

Why do today what you can put off to tomorrow?

CHEWY said...

I'm sending the inspector round to do the "white glove test".

CHEWY said...

I'm contradicting myself here. (shrug) I have a cleaning lady. (wink)

pat houseworth said...

I like a clean abode, but Hell, it ain't worth killing yourself over...just gonna get dusty again anyway.

Akelamalu said...

Tut tut. I don't have any of these problems I have MWM retired to do the cleaning! :)

quilly said...

You clean like I do! Now no more blogging! I simply must sweep the sunflower seed shells under the rug and start dinner before OC gets home!

Scott from Oregon said...

My dad used to come in our room (I shared with a brother) carrying the garbage can we took to the streets. He would toss all the clothes and crap we left on the floor into it and take it back out.

He'd say nothing and we'd have to go fish it all out of the trash grumbling about how unfair it all was.

SJ said...

Well...your posts are neat.

Shrinky said...

Yeah Jay, housework hurts - end of!

Shrinky said...

Chewy, I will seriously kick the arse of ANY man in white gloves daring to come by to enter my house!

(See these smug folk who go around with their own cleaning staff.. muttermutter..shouldn'tbeallowed..hmph..notfair)

Shrinky said...

Couldn't agree more Pat. Smile

Shrinky said...

akelamalu, my version has yet to retire, but I do allow him to keep his hand in with the ironing!

Shrinky said...

Atta'girl quilly, you show 'em!

Shrinky said...

Oh scott, that is PRICELESS!! Your dad is a genious.

I used to play a game with my mum every school day when I lived at home, every afternoon I would have to fish my make-up bag from out of the outside bin, where she would then dump it in again the next morning.

Shrinky said...

Ah, sj - you are ever the gent! x

CrazyCath said...

Ah now Shrinky it seems that you and I clean in the same way - later. I recently posted about how untidy my landing was! (That made the family pitch in and I am happy to say it is now cleared.)

Generally though, I do not do clearing up (of all the clutter and mess in my house) unless I have to. Like mother coming down. So we are very similar in that sense. And a window cleaner that does inside the house? He's a rarity! Or maybe a Craggy Island version... The only way *I* manage it is because the eldest is the window cleaner!

Good to see another post - I miss your writing. And I have to confess to taking your name in vain at David's in a comment - I had to. Nothing else but 'Shrinky' came into my head to rhyme with 'Tinky Winky'. Sorry. Very bad of me to put those two names together... ;0)

Shrinky said...

Cath, do you know, that bloomin' window cleaner STILL hasn't shown up (hope he hurries up before the house gets all dirty again)!

Hehe, what have you been up to, you little minx?? I'm hot-footing it over to David's right this minute to check it out - be warned, I may take revenge (evil grin)..

david mcmahon said...

Hmmmm, Bec, your old Uncle Dave wants to know what a can of Coke was doing in the vicinity of the laptop ......

Shrinky said...

"Uncle Dave", that is precisely what I would like to know too.. little toe-rag that she is!

The coke was a left over from her disco (I limit fizzy drinks anyway), besides, it actually her friend who spilt the drink, on ABBY'S laptop.

Guess who may be handing her own beloved laptop over to Abby anytime soon??

CrazyCath said...

Hi Shrinky - the link to where I took your name in vain is here.

I may regret giving you that link...
(It was only to find something to rhyme with Tinky Winky and your name would NOT leave my head so it's your own fault!) ;0)

Shrinky said...

Cath (teehee) my response awaits you.. sticking my tongue out and blowing a raspberry!

VE said...

This is why you should live in a houseboat...just shove it all overboard...

Helena said...

Every now and then I have a real clean up. I just can't be doing with a daily routine of cleaning.
Ah-ah. Life IS too short.

I do a quick tidy every other day or else it effects me mentally. My head hates mess.

But I don't do more than that with any regularity. USED to. Then I realised 2 things-
1) HE doesn't do any, and
2) He doesn't notice whether it's clean or not.
So I only do it when I'm bothered.

Every now and then I have a real spritz when I virtually do the whole house in a day.
The only way to do it is to make a flask of tea and take it from room to room with you, and as for standards, well, pretend you have a King coming to stay and pick up accordingly.

:^)

Alex L said...

I don't think I'm a neat freak, apart from the scattering of paper over a few of the surfaces of my room, (notes on blogging mostly), I dont really have any mess.

Just leave it for her when she comes back, as a surprise.

Shrinky said...

VE, if I lived on a houseboat it would be kids I shoved overboard, straight after drowning their dad..

Sandy Kessler said...

abhor cleaning and have all my life yet I'm always doing it always wish I had that time abck

CJ said...

Ok, since Chewy admitted I will too. I also have a cleaning lady that visits once a week. She and her helper do in one hour what what take me three. It leaves me time for the more important things in my life like blogging and sitting my arse at the pool.

Shrinky said...

Sandy, a walk on the beach is worth a dusty house (smile).

Shrinky said...

cj, aw I'm not jealous.. (slitty eyed stare) I KNOW these folk take pictures of all they discover to help towards their retirements funds.. just you wait and see!!!

(Paranoid, moi?)

CHEWY said...

cj's cleaners come every week? And two of them no less!

Must be on account of her dogs... cj can't be that messy.

hee-hee - I like the house boat suggestion.

~Fathairybastard~ said...

I'm the same way. Not so good at finishing things. Not much of a cleaner ether. When I went on that road trip last year and Denise found out I had a Dyson vaccume cleaner she got so excoted she called her sister-in-law in England to tell her. Cracked me up!

Les Becker said...

Well, hey, if you've got all this time, pop over here to clean while I'm packing up to move...