Tuesday, July 8, 2008
What brings a tear to your eye?
David at http://authorblog.blogspot.com/ posed this question at his site this week. I suppose the truth is a lot of things do, but perched at the utmost top of that list is the sad realisation that no matter how hard I might want to, I can't always guarantee my kids are safe. I try not to live in dread, wrap them in cotton wool. But in the darkest corner of my mothers heart there lies the cold stark fear that life is so very fragile. With last week came a prime illustration..
"It's okay mum, no one got hurt.."
"Wilsie wrecked his car tonight."
My heart froze as my eldest, pale and shaken, attempted to give me what he hoped was a reassuring smile. I held him, hugged him tight. Ordinarily he'd duck, but this time he stayed, allowing my need to over-rule his discomfort, he allowed me to breath him in, as he gave me a brief account of what occurred.
It was dark and raining, they were rounding a bend in the road when Wilsie lost control of the car, it skidded, slammed into a stone wall and bounced back out into the middle of the road again. No one was speeding, there was no alcohol involved. As a matter of course the police always breathalyse the driver at any scene of an incident, Wilsie was clear. Having only passed his test a few weeks ago, it appears simple inexperience, nothing more, caused the accident.
Thank God they were both wearing seat belts.
Matt wasn't altogether unscathed, after a few days he finally fessed up to having a painful chest that wasn't getting better. An x-ray later proved he'd suffered a cracked rib, probably from where the seat belt had impacted against him. But aside from missing a few sessions at the gym, no lasting damage was done.
But that's the thing, isn't it? Matt turns seventeen shortly, ironically he passed his theory driving test on the same day he also had to give a police statement relating to the accident. He will begin taking his own driving lessons next week. I know he's a sensible lad, I also know it will afford not only him, but myself too, a whole lot more freedom to have an extra driver in our family. I know all of this, I do, I do..
I think the simple truth is I just have to purposefully let go of my fears, it may be my job to prepare him for life, but ultimately it is only his job and his alone, to get out there and to live it..
..hate the fact as I may.