Pages

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Down at the Old Dog and Duck




The Best-Bank-Robber is weary.

Others, at the peak of their career
Have a portrait hung in the boardroom,
Not a mug shot on "Ten Most Wanted".

Over a pint of Marston's Pride,
Stan-The-Safe-Cracker sympathises.
He is so very tired of co-worker's shooting at him, paid  vacations only at "Her Majesty's Pleasure", and no pat on the Back for a job well done.

Too old for Government re-training
(Where the pay is shite)
There still is the one-armed bandit to feed,
And those safe houses to keep.

The Best-Bank-Robber reflects;
"Back in my day at Borstal, skills such as
Internet transfer, hacking, and identity fraud,
They were as distant as those CCTV cameras
Now squatting on every corner."

Creaking in his chair, Stan-The-Safe-Cracker sighs,
"'Tis the poxy forensics, DNA, that's destroying the livelihood,"

"They wouldn't dare if we wuz Unionised."

Raising a glass, they ponder in gloom
As to How It's All Gone So To Pot.
Finally, bell ringing, Bruiser-The-Barman
Signals last orders to drain up their ale.

Out in the cold night air, as they part until the next, Stan-The-Safe-Cracker Brightens, turning to deliver a reassuring back-Slap.

"Well man, at least your young Colin is making a mark?"

The-Best-Bank-Robber tries hard not to crow. Swallowing a lump of paternal Pride, shoulders squared, he smiles.

"Aye, sure enough, so his dear Ma tells me.. yeah, he's only out and running His very own crack-den now, ain't he?"

34 comments:

TexWisGirl said...

oh dear me...

Shrinky said...

Hi TexWisGirl, yeah, seems each new generation always tries to improve upon the last, eh?

lisleman said...

this brings to mind the thought of why waste your talent on crime. Of course many thieves are not so bright as can be seen in the many reports of dumb crooks.

Shrinky said...

Lisleman, I wrote this after a news segment aired of a huge increase in second generation households, where no adults had EVER been (legitimitely) employed. It set me to thinking of what trades, if any, their parents passed down to their off-spring.

TechnoBabe said...

Great writing, Shrinky. You are all fired up. Keep it coming.

Shrinky said...

Aww, cheers TechnoBabe, thanks for that (smile)!

mythopolis said...

Well, I think the man has a certain Robin Hood-ness about him. Robbing the rich, anyway. But, the son has taken the worst turn to make his money on selling misery to addicts!! What's the matter with kids today? Why can't they just rob banks like in the good ol' days?!

Shrinky said...

Dan, back in the "good ol' days", (Reg and Ronnie Cray spring to mind), organised crime were perceived to follow a code of conduct, usually containing their activities within the shadows of the underworld, rarely spreading violence to "civilians". Today that truly does seem to be a thing of the past.

JeannetteLS said...

Oh, what a delightfully twisted piece and a commentary on our sad times. Unemployment with no re-training options. I feel their pain!As well as the father's pride.

Lord, this was marvelous.

Tabor said...

I was just typing an insightful post when my internet bleeped. Anyway, I did read this and thought about all those millionaire dudes that steal from other every day.

Shrinky said...

Hi Jeanette, I truly love your comment (grin)! Sadly, I fear crime is the only growing industry left in today's present recession.

Shrinky said...

Hi Tabor, oh, now that's a whole 'nother post all unto itself again there, isn't it?

Hope your bleeps are cured and gone!

secret agent woman said...

There's an area near here once known for it's moonshiners, now for its brisk coke and meth trade.

Omas Sammelalbum said...

Great post! Thanks.I wish you all the best.

Shrinky said...

Ahh Secret Agent, regrettably, you rest my case!

Shrinky said...

Cheers, thank you Omas.

Cricket said...

Heh, heh. Have been maning to stop by again and this, and the last, gave me a hearty laugh.

Re: one of your previous responses, I don't know if James "Whitey" Bulger makes the news over there, but it was a bit of a pang to see him nabbed. I know, I know... he was a bad guy who did bad things, and most of the legends about him were myths.

Still and all, if none of his "antics" affected you directly, for Boston kids of a certain age and background, he was "one of ours," y'know?

Strange, I suppose, but true.

Shrinky said...

Hi there Cricket, so great to see you back here! I think I'll need to Google him, he obviously is not the same James Bulger the whole UK knows and still mourns.. but I get the gist - yes, oh for the good old baddies, eh?

Ms. A said...

Uh oh, a chip off the old block, taken to a whole new level.

Sadly, we hear of several generations of families that learn how to bilk the system, to avoid having to work for a living.

Sharon Longworth said...

I don't think I can top Jeannette's comment of 'delightfully twisted' but I did enjoy this :)

Shrinky said...

Hi Ms A, yeah, I think that's always been the case, but nowadays, with so much more unemployment, and fewer opportunities for those fresh from leaving school, it seems for many gaining work is an EXCEPTION, rather as the rule.. and idle hands often find unhealthy outlets.

Shrinky said...

Hey there Sharon, thanks, I take "delightfully twisted" as the highest of praise (grin)!

foam said...

you is nuts, aint'cha?
in a good way, of course .. :)

Shrinky said...

Ha! C'mon Foam, everybody's got a story, even bank-robbers..!

Grayquill said...

This reminded me of the book "The Smell of Sagebrush"
I think it is out of print. The author is unknown but we know he was a prisioner in the Wyoming State prison in the early 1900's.

Barbara Shallue said...

You have such a way of slipping inside of a character and bringing them to life. And your dialogue skills! The kid inside me is screaming "No fair!" (Great job!)

mythopolis said...

Well, there's honor among thieves. Many politicians know this quite well.

"Some rob you with a six gun, some with a fountain pen." (Bob Dylan)

Shrinky said...

Hi GQ, hmmn, I'm putting out a disclaimer here - I did NOT serve time in the Wyoming State Prison during the early 1900's (or any time thereafter)..

Just thought I ought to set that straight. (Grin)

Shrinky said...

Ah Dan, our Mr. Dylan sure has a sharp way of elequently cutting straight through to the nub of things, doesn't he? The changes, they are a-comin'.. I truly do believe that we are going to see much civil unrest in this decade ahead.

Dave said...

That was an interesting short story Shrinky - Dave

Shrinky said...

Hi, thanks Dave, I thought after my last marathon post, this time I ought to keep it short and sweet..!

MarkD60 said...

You are very talented.

Bathwater said...

That IS where the money is at!

missing moments said...

oh my .... another growing industry.