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Thursday, October 20, 2011

Negotiations


She: This is all your fault.

He: Huh?

She: You're meant to be waiting by the door, lead in mouth, all flappy tailed and eager.

He: What time?

Me: Eh?

He: Tried that once, didn't exactly earn me any dog-biscuits, did it?

She: It was four o' clock in the sodding morning!


He: So you expect me to tell the time now?

She: You're supposed to be dragging me up hill and down dale,   not slobbering down to share a bowl of tea with me.  You're getting fat, you know..

He: I could say something here, but I'm too much of a gent. Trade you my paw for that last biscuit?

She: Go on, then.

(Shaking on it.)

He (mid-munch) : Like it's my fault you stuffed me in kennels and took off to Ireland?  I told you no good would come of it.

She: Hey, don't start, I was kidnapped, as well you know.

He: No one force-fed you though, did they?

She: Is it my fault everything came so deliciously deep-fried? Anyways, things are going to change, me lad. You and me, we're on a health drive - enough is enough.

He: Oh, not again. Here we go. Don't see you dragging Jess around on any of these jaunts, do we?

She: That's not in the feline job-spec, besides, she's not as fat as you.

He: Cheers. I never accepted these insults before my balls were taken.

She: C'mon Jake, I could use some support here..

He: Use the treadmill, I'll cheer.

She: I'll do you a deal.

He: I'm listening.

She: Every walk earns you a kip on the couch.

He: Oh yeah, like his Grand Lord and Master is about to go for that one, eh?

She: Um, I was kinda' thinking more like the week when he's in London..?

He: That'll confuse me. You're a shit role-model.

She: I know. What do you say?

He: Let me think about it. Did you remember to tape "Jeremy Kyle"?

She: Ooooh, it's about to start, isn't it?

He: Bring the popcorn..

21 comments:

Shrinky said...

Noooooooooooooooooooooo!! I am a complete Nincompoop. I meant to hit the "Delete all Spam" button, not "Delete all Comments".

Arghhhhhhh (sob)..

I am so sorry if you've been erased, my bad. I promise to be more careful in future, so it doesn't happen again.

TechnoBabe said...

Shrinky, you crack me up again. We all make blogging mistakes and that shows how we are all so forgiving. You are not a nincompoop. You are a blogger. There is a difference.

Shrinky said...

Oh Techno, you are such a sweetie (hugs). I think I can copy and past the comments back in from my email.. watch this space!

Shrinky said...

Body



Rock Chef has left a new comment on your post "Negotiations":

You know, after that video you posted of you walking through the glen, chatting away, I believe this conversation actually happened...

Shrinky said...

Akelamalu has left a new comment on your post "Negotiations":

I thought dogs were a *man's* best friend? ;)

Shrinky said...

Bathwater has left a new comment on your post "Negotiations":

Your dog knows he doesn't have to perform he has you all figured out

Shrinky said...

lisleman has left a new comment on your post "Negotiations":

I bet you are misrepresenting him. He probably loves to take walks but maybe not on a lead (leash?). Oh one more translation - kip on the couch - nap? a night?
Too bad he's a Yankee fan

Shrinky said...

Al has left a new comment on your post "Negotiations":

Our Lab is too young to have developed such refined ways yet.
She is going stir crazy because dhe has to be kept quiet after surgery.

Shrinky said...

mythopolis has left a new comment on your post "Negotiations":

Funny. A 'dogumentary'! People, myself included, can be so interactive with their animals. I live alone with my dog. I talk to her all the time! I love how she looks at me with perked ears and looks like she knows exactly what I am talking about!

Oh, and more Daw...episodes are up, so check it out some time!

Shrinky said...

Leslie: has left a new comment on your post "Negotiations":

I'm laughing out loud here! You and Jake must have the best of times together, whether out walking with the faeries or lying on the couch watching the telly. :D

Shrinky said...

missing moments has left a new comment on your post "Negotiations":

this was a fun post!

Shrinky said...

Tabor has left a new comment on your post "Negotiations":

Partners in crime you two! I like being a fly on the wall.

Shrinky said...

Ms. A has left a new comment on your post "Negotiations":

I think I'm glad that when I still had dogs, I didn't have these same conversations. Not sure I would have liked what they might have said.

Shrinky said...

Parabolic Muse has left a new comment on your post "Negotiations":

HAHA!! My Scoutie loves popcorn!

I think both of you look fabulous.

Shrinky said...

X. Dell has left a new comment on your post "Negotiations":

(1) I'm taking your side on this one. I could support any dog who's a Yankees fan.

(2) I think he's playing you, he is. All dogs like kippin' on the couch. He's trying to wrangle more out of the deal--for example, his own couch.

(3) I've never been to Ireland. But if I knew it were an island of deliciously fried food, I would have gone there years ago.

Shrinky said...

Cloudia has left a new comment on your post "Negotiations":

great friends

MarkD60 said...

Using my uncanny Sherlock Holmes skills, I deduce you are going on a diet, and like me when my wife goes on a diet, your poor pooor dawg is going on a diet with you.

But not the cat.

Rock Chef said...

Hah, you deleted the comments! That is funny!

Thanks for resurrecting us, though!

altadenahiker said...

Oh, how does it go? "If your dog is fat, you're not getting enough exercise."

About these negotiations, I'm not sure you'll end up on the winning side.

lisleman said...

wow that's the most comment work I've ever seen. Good to know you appreciate a comment.
You might consider the DISQUS system but nothing is perfect.

secret agent woman said...

I love that you are thoughtful enough to retrieve comments from emails and re-post them!