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Friday, June 14, 2013

Shuffling Off


God:  So tell me Shrinky, now your life has played out, any questions?       





Me: No it hasn't.

God: Sorry?

Me: My life, it's only halfway through, that's not "played out", that's "cut short tragically".

God: Ah.

Me: So yeah, here's a question, why the rush? I mean, what happened to those golden years, a paid up mortgage, a little return on my pension? Heck, even senility, that'll do - I'm no where near done yet, what about all the other things I want to do?

God: Oh, you have done everything you want to do.
 

Me: Huh?


God: Every one says that. If there were anything else you wanted to do, you would have done it.


Me: What utter bollocks! I've got loads of stuff I need to finish -


God: Perhaps you do, but do you want to?

Me: Yes!!! Yes, I do, as it happens. And what was all that about, anyway? What was with the being done to death by a cockroach bit? What did I ever do to deserve that? I mean, sure, I might not have led the most pious of lives, but I wasn't that bad, surely?

God: Of course you weren't, well not entirely. You did kill a lot of insects, mind.. Take it from me, all this dying in your sleep nonsense, it is an awfully dull end, you know. Besides, you did make the six o' clock news."

Me(preening): Really? 

God: Ummn. Choking to death in a restaurant. On a cockroach? Headlines, my dear. 

Me: (Smiling broadly) Aw, well yes, I suppose it would really, wouldn't it? Did they include my photo?

God: Of course, you are quite the celebrity, my dear. 

Me: Aw, that's nice. Which one?

 

God: Which what?

 

Me: Photo - which one did they use?

 

God: The dead one.

 

Me: WHAT?? You're kidding me, right? Tell me you're kidding me..

 

God: Sorry.

 

Me: Sorry?  I didn't even get my roots done - If I had to die this young,  I should at least have been allowed to make a presentable corpse, don't you think? Anyways, why take me now? I've been sweating blood to get that not-a-book-of-mine into print, the very least you could have done is let me see it published.

God: That's not my fault.

 

Me: Huh?

 

God: I gave you ample time to finish it, you were the one who chose to fritter it all away, blogging. Freedom of choice, remember?

 

Me: Well, how was I to know I was about to be yanked up here? Would it have killed you to give me a little advance warning?

 

God: I didn't want to depress you, you were rather glum enough as it was. Actually, that's one of the reasons I've called you in..

 

Me: What? Oh, that's nice, that is isn't it? You sling all this crap out at me, and the minute I complain, I'm toast? What the hell did you expect me to do?

 

God: Exactly what you did. You asked for my help.

 

Me: HELP? This is help? Think you and I need to consult more in future. Oh wait a minute, silly me, I forgot, I no longer have a future now, do I? Thanks God, cheers for that!




God: Of course you have a future, that's the whole point my dear. I'm sending you back. 

Me: Huh?

God: Yes, I have a plan for you, you see. I always have had. All that stuff you experienced wasn't at all by pure chance, you know. I went to a lot of trouble to make that happen.

 

Me: It was deliberate?

God: Sure it was. I'm proud to say you've learnt a lot. You're ready for the next stage now.

Me: Who says I want to go back?

God: For goodness sake, fickle creature, make up your mind..

Me: Well, yeah - sure, but I just want to know what the alternatives are first. I mean, I'm not going back for all that crap again, am I? What happened to heaven, and all that? Isn't there supposed to be a host of angels waiting up there for me?

God: No, not just yet, they're fully booked. It's by appointment only these days, I'm afraid, but if that's what you really want, I'd be happy to slot you in for a cancellation?

Me: Cancellation? What do you mean, cancellation? How can death be cancelled? Do you often have a change of heart at the last minute, then? "Oops, sorry Nigel - only joking!" You must be really hard up for entertainment, that's sick, that is.

God: It's got nothing to do with me, it's all those meddling doctors down there. Why do you think the planet is struggling so hard to support you all? Half of you should have checked out years ago.. I give everyone an expiratory date, but then we're back to that old free choice again, aren't we?  Not only have they introduced IVF, they've even taken to stealing each others organs now, you know.. So, how about it then, shall I sign you up for the next slot, or do you want to go back again?

Me: So this plan you have for me involves multiple choice? Forgive me for sounding cynical, but I'm starting to lose a wee bit of faith here..

God: I have a plan, it's entirely your choice whether you want to follow it or not.

Me: What happens if I don't?

God: You'll be sorry.

Me: Are you meant to be threatening me like this?

God: I'm God, I can do what I like.



Me: So let me see if I've got this right.. I'm not allowed to go back as myself?


God: It would be a bit pointless, don't you think? Anyway, every one's already been to your funeral.

 

Me: Never stopped you with Jesus..

 

God: As if everyone and their uncle hasn't tried to pull that one. The answer's no.

 

Me: I will at least be rich, though, right?

 

God: In which way?

 

Me: What do you mean, "which way"? Rich as in cash, of course, loads and loads of it, please. It's not as though you didn't make me suffer enough last time around, is it? It's only fair..

 

God: I have every intention of making you rich, but not in worldly goods. Unlike many, you will be returned to earth abundantly eloquent and remarkably healthy; gifts best suited for the purpose I have in hand.

 

Me: O-kay. Cool. But with a little, tiny million or so in cash, too? C'mon, it's hardly gonna' hurt you now, is it? I mean, where's the harm?

 

God: It would distract you, make you lazy. Trust me, I know you.

Me: That, uh - that is totally unfair, how can you even say that? You only know the me that I was, and that me had you riding my back, zapping my arse, and throwing curve-balls at me every five minutes. Now that me, hell yeah, sure I probably would have taken it a little easier, who could blame me? But that's not this me. I know how fragile life truly is now. I can do focused, believe me, I can do this, un-lazy rich is me, just roll it on, you'll see..

 

God: Thankfully, I don't need to. Oh, don't look so crest-fallen girl, you'll earn a perfectly decent living, don't fear. You really do need to have more faith, you know.

 

Me: Do I have any say in this?

 

God: You don't have to go back..

 

Me: Aside from that?

 

God: Sorry.

 

Me: You're not much of a liberal when it comes to this freedom of choice, are you?

 

God: Ha! Funny you should say that, because it brings us nicely on to my next point. To quote a certain famous car manufacturer; you can have any colour you like, so long as it's black.

 

Me: Eh?  Um..what?  WHAT??  Ut-oh, oh no, no way.  This your idea of funny?

 

God: It's my idea of true.
 

Me: What? Why? What difference does that make to the great scheme of things? Don't get me wrong here, I like black people - well, some of them, but - you're not serious, are you? I'm white, you know I'm white!
 

God: You're scared.

 

Me: Hell, yeah! Have you seen the deal these guys get down there? What're you smiling about? You know, I used to place a lot of trust in you, no one told me you were just plum crazy.

 

God: It'll work out well, you'll see.

 

Me: Oh, I get it, I'm going to be male, too, aren't I? And young. Twenties something? Gee God, you must really love me, after all, you're obviously going to be recalling me in again pretty soon..

 

God: No. Not that I don't love you, of course. But no, you are going to live a very long and productive life, rest assured, I would hardly have gone to all of this trouble just to go and waste you all over again, now would I?

 

Me: Well, as you put it so nicely. Alright, so I'm a young black man.. a handsome, muscular young, black man, right? I guess that's not so bad.. Pity though, I used to love flirting with all those guys.

God: Oh, that needn't change..

 

Me: Huh? No, uh-uh, you cannot be serious -

 

God: Never more, my dear. Sorry, we're not exactly talking Will Smith here, you're going to be a joyously gay young, black man quite well-known, too, I might add. Well you did so want to be well known in your last life didn't you, poor dear? I feel it's the very least I can do for you now..

Me: Why are you sounding so camp, all of a sudden?

 

God: What can I say? I am all things to all men. Women too, come to that.. anyway, where were we? Oh, yes, your purpose. You are going to make quite a mark, my dear. People are going to love you; not those who know you of course, but those whose lives you touch will be eternally grateful there is a God in heaven..

Me: Hold up.

 

God: Mmmn?

 

Me: Sorry to interrupt here, but I mean, if I touch someones life for the good and all that, I'm not saying they have to necessarily love me exactly, but they're bound to be more grateful to having me on the earth, as opposed to, say having you, ie., a God in heaven; a guy who, let's face it, has kinda' grown just a mite distant, and a tad remote down the years? Hell, why should you take all my credit?

 

God: Because I made you, and I can unmake you too. Where do you think parents actually got that saying from in the first place? Anyway, as I was saying.. I have a grand design for you, one that will impact beautifully on so many lives.

 

Me: I'm getting scared to ask. Does any of this involve me and hurt in any way?

 

God: Oh no, not at all. In any case, not physically. I grant you, you will not often, well hardly ever, actually probably never, be very liked by those around you, but really, that is such a small price to pay for all the good you will do for others..

Me: Glad you seem to think so.

 

God: I've groomed you, my girl. All your life has been leading up to this, this is it, your big moment! As good old Dr. Phil keeps saying, "I want you to get excited about your life."

 

Me: Is that the baldy, American guy? The one on day-time T.V.? Sheesh, you really have been slacking off up here. It rots the brain, you know.

 

God: You will not talk about St. John, like that, he's doing a fine job down there.

 

Me: Oh blimey, you mean - ?

God: None other. A fine man then, and a fine one now. Anyway, let's not digress.. time is getting short, and there is work to do. I'm sure you are probably well aware of the purpose I have in mind for you, so without further ado, let's get on with it.






(Ten minutes later)

Me: You're taking the piss.

 

God: I thought you'd be pleased.

 

Me: Oh, come on God, cut me some slack here, I hate those morons - you know I do!

 

God: Stop being such a drama queen; it's not them you hate, it's their actions. Which is why you are best qualified to go back down there to kick some ass. Think about it.

 

Me: Gee, you're a regular loving God, you are. Why don't you just save putting me to all this bother, and zap the sods with a bit of your good old smite, instead? It'd get the job done in half the time.

 

God: I know, it is tempting, isn't it? Not that it would work, of course. For every one of them, there are a dozen or so more who would soon take their place. No, I'm afraid it's more of a control and monitoring operation that we need.

 

Me: Talk for yourself here, I'm out of it, remember?

 

God: Stop sulking, you are going to love your new life. Trust me.

 

Me: So in between all this service to mankind business, do I actually get to have one, then? I mean, lots of fluffy, warm happy bits, stuff to make it all worthwhile?

 

God: Oh yes, lots.

 

Me: And I'll be handsome?

 

God: Of course. People predictably respond better to good looks, don't they?

 

Me: Will I be athletic?

 

God: You'll be very agile. Mentally.

 

Me: Mentally? - what's that got to do with the price of eggs? I'm gonna' be fit, yeah?

God: Absolutely. A club foot is nothing to worry about these days..
 

Me: No way!! Uh-uh, deals off, I'm walking away, with both of my two good feet, right now. You can stuff that for a game of soldiers, go and find some other poor sucker to play with. What the hell are you talking about, God?

 

God: You have to experience discrimination, in order to fully appreciate the injustice of it. Being a black, gay, disabled man will add a fire to your belly, a passion to your soul. I promise you, you will experience a hugely satisfying life, my dear, you will be far happier than you've ever known. You'll end up thanking me, honestly.

Me: Yeah, right. Thanks anyway, but just put me down for your nearest cancellation, will you? Point me to the waiting room, and give me a shout when the angels arrive. This second time around lark of yours sure stinks to high heaven.
 

God: Well, if that's what you really want, I can't hold you, it has to be your own free choice, of course. It is a great pity, though. You have no idea how badly you will regret this.
 

Me: Oh, surprise, surprise, here we go! I knew it was only a matter of time before you pulled this old one on me. Sure, yeah, you know what's best for me, and I'm gonna' suffer horribly if I choose any other path.. am I right?

 

God: You really do have a lot of insight, don't you?

 

Me: What kind of free choice do you call that?

 

God: The only one you have. Still, it is your call..

 

Me: You're just loving this, aren't you?

God: I'm merely offering you a guiding hand, is all.

 

Me: How can you say I'll be happy? What's to be happy about?

 

God: All the good you'll do. You're going to make a lot of people very grateful.

 

Me: I'll be a fabulous lover?

 

God: That wasn't what I meant.

 

Me: Maybe not - but I will be, won't I?

 

God: Er, it's probably not a good time to add this, but since you've asked, well, I'm going have to say that that's going to be rather
unlikely..

Me: Huh?

 

God: I'm sending you back impotent. I don't want you distracted.

 

Me: COME AGAIN??

 

God: Sex is highly over-rated, believe me. I only put it in there to give me a good laugh. You're far better off without it, you'll see.

 

Me: I don't want to see. Let me get laid!

 

God: No.
 

Me: I get laid, or I'm not going back.

 

God: That's your final answer?

 

Me: Oh, stop that! It isn't "Who wants to be a Millionaire", you know. This is my life we're talking about.

 

God: Which is why I urge you to make the right decision, my dear. It's the most important one you'll ever make.

 

Me: I don't want to be Prime Minister, it's boring. Like I say, I hate these guys!

 

God: Oh, don't worry, it won't be boring after I kit you out with a bigger brain.

 

Me: So now you're calling me thick too, eh? Well, humph, that's really nice, that is! Good job you never have to run for election, isn't it?

 

God: I don't want to press you, my dear, but this was meant to be my afternoon off, you know. Are you any closer to making your choice?

Me: There isn't one, is there?

 

God: Not really.

 

Me: Are you sure you know what you're doing?

 

God: You can always come back and sue me..

 

Me: I think someone already tried that, didn't they? 

God: I hate to press you..

Me: A black, impotent, gay, disabled Prime Minister, eh? Ah, what the hell, okay let's get on with it..

85 comments:

Kittie Howard said...

Shrinky, you're amazing! I totally loved this exchange. The satire - really good stuff! A cockroach, eh? Too funny!

Pat Tillett said...

Death by cockroach! That sucks, but is pretty darn funny! Good conversation...

mythopolis said...

Soooo funny!!! But it made me wonder but what some poor guy was sent back to earth to be me? Whoever he was he musta made god mad to give him this kinda life I---or he---have/has...!!

I was reminded of Dylan's lyric:

'God said to Abraham, 'KIll me a son.'
Abe said, 'God, you must be putting me on!
God said, 'No."
Abe said, 'Whoa!'
God said, "You can do what you want, but next time you see Me coming, you better run."
Abe said, 'Where do you want this killing done?'
God said, "Out on Highway Sixty One.'

: )

TexWisGirl said...

so, world politics is not my forte. do we know of such a prime minister already?

Ms. A said...

Your brain works in such an amazing way! (a tad twisted, at times, but no less amazing)

lisleman said...

OMG - I thought that would be appropriate - the cockroach thing had me thinking it would be some insect reincarnation. Dr. Phil idea - gives the saints a low bar to reach. Well I'm glad you blogged instead of that book. You forgot to ask if you'll be blogging in second life.

foam said...

he's got to be short too... (the prime minister that is). many people are hightists after all (or should that be shortists..hmm
)
and please tell me which restaurant it was so i can avoid it should i ever be in your neck of the woods..

Barbara Shallue said...

I could totally hear you talking to the God in Monty Python - you crack me up!
You also made me regret not working on my book today!! First thing in the morning...

Mr. Nighttime said...

Thought this might be appropriate...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzNzCiZwk28

MarkD60 said...

I kinda wish God would pull me aside and straighten me out a bit, give me a little talking to. . . .

Shrinky said...

Hi there Kitty, I had so much fun writing this, I'm really glad you enjoyed it, it virtually wrote itself!

Shrinky said...

Cheers Pat, yeah those cockroaches are sneaky little buggers, and never to be trusted!

Shrinky said...

Dan, what song of his is that? I might you-tube it, it's familiar, but I can't quite recall the tune.. and, pshaw, what nonsense that is, whoever came back as you arrived here as a reward! An artist, writer and poet? Most folk would happily die to recieve such talents!

Shrinky said...

Not yet, TexWisGirl, give it time..

Shrinky said...

Hi Ms A, well it's said it takes one to know one (wink)!

Shrinky said...

Hi there Lisleman, blimey, imagine that, as Prime Minister you'd have one of the best blogging platforms in the world - mind, the return visits might prove a wee bit taxing!

Shrinky said...

Darn it, Foam, I missed that bit out (pout), well OF COURSE he has to be short - wish I'd thought of that, too. Oh, I hear the restaurant was closed down due to breaches in hygene and health and safety issues, but reopened under a different name the week after..

Shrinky said...

Ah Barbara, you are a far more disciplined writer than I can ever hope to be, and I sure look forward to reading this finished novel of yours - which I suspect will be published in the none too distant future.

Shrinky said...

Hi Mr Nightime, I haven't listened to The Crash Test Dummies in forever, thanks for the link, I loved the creative video.

Shrinky said...

Hey Mark, isn't that what wives are meant to be for? (Just ask my hubby..)

TechnoBabe said...

Well, if you do believe in a god, he/she gave you a tremendous amount of wit and humor. Maybe more than your share as a matter of fact. I think you got some wit that was meant for me. Greedy bitch. You have me laughing way too hard, you know how my bladder can't take the strain.

Shrinky said...

Hahaha, oh TechnoBabe, that's some image you've gone and left me with! And flattery will get you everywhere, tho' I'm a-feared you may get blisters on your tongue writing such great porky-pies as you have! (See my big, wide, cheesy grin?)

mythopolis said...

Shrinky re Dylan: Highway 61 Revisited, 1965....

http://youtu.be/PdMuzsBYZjk

Mike said...

Saint John back as Dr Phil, and I'm the archangel Gabriel. Great bit of writing shrinky hilarious and thought provoking.

Pearl said...

:-)

We really must have a drink sometime, you and I.

Pearl

Dave said...

A fascinating story. Well done! - Dave

Shrinky said...

Aw Dan, thanks for the link, what a diamond you are! ((x))

Shrinky said...

Archangel Gabriel (or may I call you mike?), I sooo love having friends like you, in these high places..

Shrinky said...

Hey Pearl, first round's mine - what's your pleasure?

Shrinky said...

Thanks Dave, and thanks for stopping by!

Tabor said...

Well, I read it all the way to the end...so it must have been good! I hope I never have to make this decision.

Shrinky said...

I know, Tabor (cringe), it's a much longer a post than I usually write - sorry - I origanally meant it as a two parter, but it just didn't read so well that way. Anyhoo's, thanks for staying with it!

X. Dell said...

(1) Funny. I've always liked British humor. Thanks to you, I've developed a taste for Manx humor as well.

(2) Touch up your roots? Hmmm. I think you'd look really cool as a brunette....not that there's anything wrong with being a blonde.

Besides, a hundred years from now, two-toned hair could be the "in" thing. People will look upon your corpse and think, "There's a woman ahead of her time."

(3) Can't speak to the political aspirations, the sexual orientation, or the impotence. But I can personally assure you that God is correct: being a black man with a disability (who during part of his life is young, handsome and athletic) is not a curse.

Of course, I have met quite a few gay African Americans. If I see any with club feet, I'll know that they were bleach blonde heterosexual Manx female bloggers in their past lives.

(4) Don't knock it. I think a lot of people could do with a bit more brain.

ladyfi said...

Too funny - and very very witty!

Omas Sammelalbum said...

Brilliant post, my great friend. Thanks Shrinky!

Shrinky said...

Hi X-Dell,

1. You find this FUNNY? Talk about heartless, you obviously have no sympathy for my plight (inserting slitty-eyed stare).

2. Now being a "natural" steel-grey, I sincerely doubt fashion will ever move on that far, even 200yrs from now.

3. This is God's version of karma, he's obviously meant for us to meet up again in my new life, so you can introduce me to your gay African-American friends, that I be better orientated into my next incarnation. Please send me a photo.

4. I beg to differ - brainier = discontent. My hound, thick as two short planks, is the happiest mutt on earth. My hubby, self-confessed brainiac, over-thinks everything and is perpetually stressed. I rest my case.

Shrinky said...

Aw Shucks, LadyFi, you've gone and made me ears turn pink (hugging myself)!

Shrinky said...

Hi Omas, did you actually read my post, this time?

Dee Newman said...

Mark Twain once said if he were to construct a God – "God would spend some of His eternities in trying to forgive Himself for making man unhappy when he could have made him happy with the same effort and he would spend the rest of them in studying astronomy."

I've always thought that if there is God 'He' is either pretty damn sadistic or down right impotent.

Shrinky said...

Hi Dee, I agree heartily with our young Mr. Twain, as together with many others, I've never really quite "got" this God thing.. (shrug).

Rock Chef said...

Well at least you won't be involved in any sex scandals!

That was funny...

I assume there is more...

Shrinky said...

RC, more?? Sheesh, I doubt it. I wouldn't know where to go!

Rock Chef said...

Aw, that's a shame, you have stacked things up beautifully for a totally outrageous story!

OK, just one question - where do you become Prime Minister of? Craggy Island? Are you Mr Cameron's replacement?

Shrinky said...

Darn it, RC, stop whispering in my brain.. come to mention it (as only you bloomin' well have), maybe I CAN squeeze a little extra mileage out of this post - replacing Cameron is hard, noone can make a bigger joke out of politics than he's already expertly doing - but Craggy Island is hardly a big enough platform to make any real impact on the world - let me sleep on it!

jabblog said...

Choices, choices - so difficult;-)
I liked your sump hole, too - very creative.

Charles Gramlich said...

I got a lot of laughs out of that one. I could see myself in quite a few of those exchanges.

Rock Chef said...

Good stuff!

Not wanting to get too political here, but I really think it is time for Spitting Image to return to our screens...

altadenahiker said...

Oh, I needed a good deep laugh. Excellent!

Shrinky said...

Hey, thanks Jabblog, so glad you visited my sumphole!

Shrinky said...

Come to mention it Charles, so can I (grin)..!

Shrinky said...

High five, RC, gawwwwd, I miss that series!

Shrinky said...

Hey there Altadenahiker, so glad I oblidged, it's a true pleasure!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

This is really fun and I appreciate the little gems of meaning - e.g., the statement about discrimination and that sex is over-rated.

Thanks for the follow. I'll be following you and considering your kind offer. Your g/f's cute, yes? =)

xoRobyn

laughingwolf said...

hilarious! lol

at 6'4" and some 240 lb, i'm positive i could NEVER come back as a short, slim woman... been in THIS frame far too long :P

that dylan quote is right on!

and if sex is a pain in the ass, you must be doing it wrong! :O lol

Shadow said...

personally, i don't think it's a good idea to argue with God, not an argument you're likely to win, :)

Shrinky said...

Hey Robyn, how great to see you in here, and thanks for the follow!

And, yup, she's a true stud-magnet..(wink)

Shrinky said...

Hi Laughingwolf, good to see you again, my friend.. blimey, I had no idea you were so tall! I'm 6ft in my heels, so I usually view every man's bald patch from above (grin). Hey, t'was God who said sex was underrated, not me!!

Shrinky said...

Hi Shadow, thanks for stopping by. And I think you have a point, I never know when to quit whilst I'm ahead!

Skunkfeathers said...

You dialogue with God is waaaay more entertaining than my adventures with my pet rock, Seymour ;-)

Shrinky said...

Dunno Skunk, I'll bet Seymour gives a far better response..!

Furtheron said...

very clever... very funny too

Shrinky said...

Aw cheers Furtheron, it gave me a chuckle writing it (grin)..

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

This is a wonderful little play---You should STAGE this! Great fun and provocative, too!

Al Penwasser said...

"God: I'm sending you back impotent. I don't want you distracted.
Me: COME AGAIN??"
"Impotent" and "come again"...? God does have a sense of humor, after all.

Suldog said...

Ah, this is (was, if you haven't come back yet) probably my favorite post of yours. You may remember that I was inspired to write something in a slightly similar vein. Since you have made me laugh again, I shall endeavour (I'm spelling it your way) to do the same. I'll re-publish my story tomorrow!

Shrinky said...

Oh Lady, no one even in my own family reads this blog, little less any "real-life" friends, who on earth would agree to perform in anything I might dream up in here?

Still, it sure is a sweet thought!

Shrinky said...

Al, I WROTE this crap, and even I didn't spot that one - haaaaaaaaaaaa, too, too funny, thanks for the belly laugh!

Shrinky said...

(Laughing) Sully, trust you to blow my cover, you DO realise that up until you came in, I almost got away with this re-post as something I wrote as new??

Still, the thought of reading your brilliant "follow-on" cheers me no end. I'll be going to sleep happy! x

Deidre said...

I hate when I choke on a cockroach and end up chatting with god for 20 minutes...

Shrinky said...

Yeah, Deirdre, and isn't it odd how it's usually proceeded by drinking a bucket of two of wine?

Rock Chef said...

I used to know one of the puppeteers on Spitting Image - wonder if I could track him down... Maybe he could stir things up a bit!

Shrinky said...

Ooooooh RC, I am soooo jealous.. yes, yes, yes please, give him a rattle, see what he can stir up?

notactuallygod said...

What is this blasphemy, girl? I NEVER had this conversation! Wait, I just remembered something; I'm not actually God. Um, carry on.

Al Penwasser said...

And, not that I was staring, mind you, but.....doesn't Adam have a tiny little winky?
Maybe because since, he was the first, God had no idea how big to make them.

Shrinky said...

Notactuallygod, stop denying it and fess up, you ARE God, and senile.

Shrinky said...

Al, what are you saying here, they come in other sizes?? Argh, holy shit, my life's been wasted..

secret agent woman said...

I almost couldn't read past the choking on a cockroach bit!

Brighid said...

You've a wicked sense of humor...I loved it...but I thought God was a cross dressing woman...so what do I know!

Shrinky said...

Hi Secret Agent, yeah, hardly the best way to go, is it (grin)?

Shrinky said...

Hey there Brighid, how great to see you in here, thanks for popping over! I love that image of yours, hmmmn.. wish I'd included that in, now.

H A R R Y G O A Z said...

MAGNIFICENT !

Parabolic Muse said...

Oh, wow! Love the exchange!

I had no idea that God wanted to make TWO of us...

Shrinky said...

Hi Harry, thank you for stopping by!

Shrinky said...

Haha! Hi Chris, I'm sure God has HUGE plans for you.. he probably wants to delegate some of his creative side to you (just think of all those sequined, tissue-wrapped critters you'll be able to set loose on the world)!

Akelamalu said...

Good grief Shrinky, what goes on in your head??? LOL