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Thursday, February 16, 2012

Dogs as Penis Extensions



Damned irresponsible dog-owners need putting down!

What is it with these sad old sacks who need to advertise their manhood by the breed of dog they choose to own? I'm sure Pit Bull's are pussycats in the right hands. Sadly, from my experience, it seems very few of them seem to fall in to those.      

This breed is outlawed on the mainland, but it appears we haven't quite got there yet. Why is it the only ones that ever cross my path, are those left to run wildly out of control, by loose-jawed, vacant numpties, who have long since lost who have never mastered the ability to string so much as a partial sentence together?

Jake and I played hooky last week. Turning my back on the thousand chores a-calling, I packed up my camera and loaded up the hound, scarpering off to shores unknown. The sun was up, and it was simply too tempting an invitation to ignore.  I stopped off along various parts of the coastline, enjoying the solitude and views, before finally heading on down south, t
o The Sound.



As you can see, just off the tip of here, lies a little rock masquerading as an island, it's a small bird sanctuary we call The Calf of Man.  The place has only one solitary house on it, and as there is no power or water supply connected, the only resident there must rely upon a sole electricity generator for power, and needs for every other supply (water included) to be ferried over via rowing boat. 

When the sea is rough, the place can be cut off entirely for up to a week or two or more.  Two wildlife/bird wardens reside here, but as they work on an alternating rota, in essence they live alone.

 
Although unreachable to the likes of you and me, the place is close enough to The Sound, to afford some good sightings of anything of up to eighty and beyond different species of bird, many of whom migrate to breed here.  At this time of year, you can also often spot an abundance of basking seals and their calves.  It was the latter I was hoping to be lucky enough to capture, and I'd lugged along my hefty zoom lens and trusty tripod for the task.



It was idyllic, the only folk around seemed to be those of the retired variety, most others being either at work or in school. They happily passed the time of day as they strolled by, some exchanging (well-meaning and useless) tips and advice, others simply curious as to what in the hell I was up to.   

Jake immersed himself in the sea-grass,  whilst I immersed myself in my passion; all was well in the world of Shrinky and Jake.

I didn't see them coming until they were there. A pair of two snarling, growling hounds from hell. They stealthily made a circle around me, ears flat, crouched and menacing.


You ever get that pin-prick heat that all your pores are on fire?  It really does happen when your hair stands on end.  I froze, forgot to breathe.

Jake is no fighter but he has a loyal heart, with an alert sense of my imminent doom, he launched himself, full-pelt from the dunes, and tore uphill, joining me by my side.  It's funny, because it's a running joke at our house what a useless guard-dog he makes, I've never, ever seen him like this (and hope I never need to again, either).  There he stood, bless him, facing them off, hackles raised and muzzle bared.  But brave as he is, it took no genius to see we were both in grave trouble.

Emboldened now, they drew closer, snapping at the air, posturing. I slowly, ever so slowly, bent down to fix a hold on Jake's collar, feeling certain in the next second he would almost certainly be ripped open.

Wildly casting my eye around, I spy him

He's freaking grinning.

As I scream "Do something", they launch.  It all happens so quickly, Jake twists out of my grasp, leaping to meet them. Instinctively, I follow, but can't get between them. Jake howls, and fighting back with gusto, he yelps as they attack.

It's amazing what a little adrenalin can do.

Lifting a rock, I join the frey, wildly swinging to smash one of the brutes so hard over the head, I feel as if my wrist has shattered.  He drops.  Yes, I meant to kill the brute, and in truth, I thought I had. 

Only now does this Neanderthal decide to act, maybe he was scared I'd move on to finish the other one off, and then come back for him?  With flight out of the question, I sure have found myself stuck in the fight mode.  The jaws of the other monster is now locked around Jake's throat.   

The Cretin who loosened this chaos finally steps in, wrenching his creature off.  Jake is bleeding profusely, and shaking like a leaf. 

His other spawn from Hell regains his senses, and wobbilly takes to it's legs again - apparently stunned, but still very much alive and growling.  The Plank, his owner, belatedly decides to leash him, too.   

Get this - he's outraged I've injured one of his pets! Threatened to report ME for animal cruelty! Had my knees not turned to jelly, I would have delivered a very well-deserved and much warranted kick to that obviously sadly impotent, limp dick of his. 

I settled for a choice, albeit brief rant, instead.  I had no time to waste on the deaf eared streak of vomit, Jake needed the vet, and I strongly suspected my wrist was broken.

Besides, my knees were knocking.

Such a horrible way to interrupt what had started as a promising, beautiful day. After bathing and cleansing Jake's ear, I was relieved to find it wasn't torn.  Unlike his neck.  He needed seven sutures to put it right, not to mention a couple of shots, and is now currently on a course of antibiotics for the encounter. 

My wrist is sprained and bandaged.  

Yes, I called the police, but without a name or any idea of which slime-pit this pox-ridden runt crawled out of, the only action they can take is to file a report, and commiserate.

Dear old Jake, remind me never to insult his capabilities again, will you?  He shared a huge, juicy steak with me once I got him home, after all, I think 'twas the very least he deserved!

This is a re-post, and actually happened three years ago.  Both Jake and I are now fully recovered and none the worse for wear.  I never did hear anything back from the police, but sadly, I could only give them very little to go on.  My dear friend, Jeaux made recent mention of an encounter he had with a Pit bull and it's owner, and it reminded me of my own.  I told him of this post, and he asked if he could see it - so, Jeaux, this one's for you. 

58 comments:

Tabor said...

Glad you re-posted. What a compelling read. I was right there with you and had to wipe all the dog saliva off my nice clean shirt! Glad you both are well. I hate Neanderthals like that guy.

bill lisleman said...

It was a new post for me. There is no reason for this to ever happen. The stories of kids being maimed by dogs make me sick. So glad you put an update on this.

Bijoux said...

Oh my gosh, Shrinky! And I've been planning on doing a post soon about how much I don't really like dogs! I would have been scared out of my mind!

I have heard too many stories about pit bulls who've turned against their owners. I don't know why anyone wants one (except maybe your title tells me the answer!!!)

foam said...

Gad, irresponsible dog owners piss me off. That behavior was criminal. Years ago .... Who am I kidding .... Decades ago, an uncle of mine had a pit bull named Lucy. The only thing wrong with Lucy was that she thought she was a lap dog.

mythopolis said...

I am glad you re-posted this too. There are many things I could comment about.
I loved the photos and am quite intrigued by the idea of who lives on that rock. Is the house actually visible in the photo, because just right of center I see a small whitish area I wonder might be a house? There's got to be a story there!

What a harrowing experience to have to try to break up a dog fight. It is quite a dangerous situation. I loved Jake's heroicism in that moment.

Pit bulls can be scary. They have jaws that can lock onto their prey and that is that. You cannot shake off a pit bull once he's sunk his teeth in.

However, I am a big fan of Cesar Chavez and his televised series, 'The Dog Whisperer'. I have seen him take dangerous pit bulls and transform them into docile love-puppies. It is all about how the animal has been reared. (True of humans, as well.) Many buy pit bulls to bring out the worst in them. Raise them as fighting dogs in illegal dog fights. Criminals such as drug dealers like to have them around to scare the crap out of anybody. They are staked out in the yard with heavy chains around their necks. But the chains are long enough to keep anyone from getting to the front door. Mean people create mean dogs.

The natural tendency of a dog is to be loyal to its owner and care-giver. Most are non-aggressive in nature, but they will be protective, if the situation requires it. Even tiny innocuous lap puppies can show teeth.

As you know, I have a faithful dog in her last stages with a cancer in advanced age. I will feel quite vulnerable when she goes. She has been my extra sense of smell, hearing, and instinct, in general. There have been many times her behavior has called my attention to something I could not perceive. She might emit a low growl, and a minute later, someone knocks on the door. I am going to miss that kind of thing when she is gone. Dogs want to be in our family, our pack, if we will let them. And they will step up to the plate in your defense. Even pit bulls, want this. But many want the worst in them. Sorry, but I knew this was going to be a rant the moment I started writing.

Kate said...

Some dog owners are absolute cretins! There have been some pit bull attacks in my city. One victim pulled his handgun and shot the dog. The police around here say they too will shoot them if they challenge. I really don't blame the dog, although I haven't heard of too many folks being ripped apart by a savage wiener dog. Give brave Jake a pat for me.

Leslie: said...

What a relief that this was 3 years ago! I truly wish you could have found out who he was and stick him with the vet bills! And sued the pants off him, too! The title of your post is hilarious, though not the situation. Whew!

Fenstar de Luxe said...

We had a small girl here mauled to death by a pit bull cross. It was horrific. They've tightened our "dangerous dog" laws but they're so difficult to enforce not sure why they don't just ban them entirely. Then again, it's like guns, idiots will always find a way to have them, no matter what the laws.

Cloudia said...

Sad when dogs are made mean!


Aloha from Waikiki
Comfort Spiral

> < } } ( ° >

Barbara Shallue said...

This was new to me and I'm so relieved to see it's an old one and everyone is okay! Our neighbors have a pit bull and she's really a sweetheart, but all too often I hear stories like this. I sure wish the police could have gotten that creep!

~Babs said...

Oh, man,,,,what an encounter! So glad the both of you fared well in what could have been an even more tragic event. Animals,,,beloved animals.But I remember that at any time they are still just that. I had a huge hole ripped out of my upper leg when I was 11 by a neighborhood, loveable pet.Very friendly, loveable boxer, who'd never shown any temperament before, and who I had not provoked in any way.The animal contol officer said that any dog can have a bad day, and I believe it.But anyone who will own a pit bull is just asking for trouble, as they too often have many bad days. I adore dogs,,but I have a very healthy respect for the fact they are still,,,animals.
Except for your Jake and my Mille, of course.
:-)

Ms. A said...

What a horrible encounter for you and Jake. You can blame it on the owner, first for how they were raised, second for them being a danger to others, when he was fully aware they were a danger. Any breed of dog can be a danger.

My granddog is the sweetest Pit you would ever imagine. She was raised well and is a wonderful addition to the family.

Rock Chef said...

It is a shame that you didn't keep going and brain all 3 of them!

People like that drive me nuts. They tend to have Staffs around here. Staff can be the nicest dogs, but given the wrong treatment they are a nightmare. The other night I thought I was in for trouble. I had 3 dogs on leads (Custard, Bryn my uncle's dog and Frou Frou). This dog appeared and faced off against Custard and Bryn. Frou was behind them. The owner ignored the situation. Then Frou got angry and pushed between Custard and Bryn, growling as she went. Luckily, this seemed to spook the staff who turned tail and ran for it!

Sometimes you just get this urge to go vigilante...

MarkD60 said...

I see guys walking with pit bulls on anchor chain leashes, their pants down with their boxer underwear hanging out. Yeah, they need to be 'put down'

Great photos! right now I wish I had a job working on an island that got cut off from everything for weeks at a time.

Shrinky said...

Me too, Tabor. Bet his mother is real proud, huh?

Shrinky said...

Yeah Bill, dogs are lethal weapons in the wrong hands - it's an encounter I'd never wish to repeat.

Shrinky said...

Hi Bijoux, oh believe me, I was TERRIFIED, in fact I think I have never been so scared, ever. It's a powerful breed, but not necessarily a vicious one - sadly, the type of people who go to own such a powerful breed, often have questionable motive for doing so.

Shrinky said...

Yeah foam, I can believe it - raised with love, any dog returns it ten-fold. My hairdresser owns a Staffiford Bull Terrior, called Pheobe - I had them both over for a photo-shoot, and that dog was the biggest softie I've ever met.

Shrinky said...

Hi Dan, I've never actually been on The Calf of Man, but yes, I believe that is the house there, where you think you see it. In many ways, the place reminds me much of how the old light-keeper's must have lived, back in the days before lighthouses became automated, and yes, it sounds very romantic, doesn't it?

I'm tickled pink at the thought we both watch "The dog whisperer". So true, any dog, regardless of breed, is simply a reflection of it's environment. I shudder to think how the Pit bull's I encountered that day were "trained". Like you say, mean people raise mean dogs.

I don't know why I was so surprised Jake stood firmly to my defence, guess we do belong to the same pack, and he and I share a strong bond of love, just as you and Life do. My heart wants to break for you, knowing her days are growing short. I'm certain she's enjoyed a good, wonderful life with you, and hope when her time comes, it'll be easy on her.

Shrinky said...

I will Kate, he always enjoys a good pat, any excuse will do! No, somehow I can't imagine a wee weiner doggie savaging many folk, unless you count mugging them for a cuddle? No one carries guns over here, not even our police, so shooting an attacking animal isn't even an option. Thankfully, dogs such as the ones I met, are a rare oddity (which is just as well).

Shrinky said...

Hi there Leslie, I do worry this thug is still out and about with these animals. What if they had encountered a mum and young children that day? It doesn't bear thinking of. However, I doubt sueing the lout would achieve much, he probably lives in a shack and robs for a living!

Shrinky said...

Hi Fen, true, I believe a lot of breeders have gone "underground" since this law was introduced, and it also adds extra glamour and status to the half-wits who keep them. That said, if one in ten gets through the net, it's still nine in ten less we need to worry ourselves over.

Jeaux said...

Wow, just... wow. I always knew you could rise to an occasion, Braveheart, but I’m awe-struck by this. Don’t mess with the Shrinkster, or Jake, when their own are at stake! That the pits, and their beastly owner, didn’t stand down (the normal response of all civilized creatures) when you and Jake first demonstrated solidarity against the aggression speaks volumes.

Of course there are sweet pit bulls... until they eat somebody’s baby. I truly don’t understand the hubris of wanting to own that dangerous and unnecessary breed, or what drives people to pooh-pooh the reputation that is their obvious, if unspoken, appeal. And it’s always somehow the victim’s fault when the dogs maim and kill. Excuses abound. Irrational entrenchment. It’s not enough to say it’s the owners’ fault, that’s a no-brainer. Whatever the animal, owner and beast deserve each other. But I completely support the dangerous breed regulations that communities, and even nations, are enacting to protect themselves.

These are wonderful photographs, by the way. I especially like the birds against the crashing surf. The seal is cute. The island looks forbidding, but also alluring, the way worlds apart often do. That a bit of nightmare emerged out of this enchanted setting, from which you and Jake emerged injured but triumphant, is what great parables are all about. Wear those battle scars with honor.

Shrinky said...

Sure is, Cloudia.

Shrinky said...

I have a feeling it's only a matter of time, Barbara, before this sorry individual runs ito more trouble. I only hope it doesn't involve another attack before the police finally catch up with hom.

Akelamalu said...

Irresponsible dog owners should be put down!

Shrinky said...

OMG, Bab's, what a horrific thing to happen to such a little girl - I am amazed it hasn't scared you off dog's for life! Your poor mother, I can't imagine how I'd cope if the same happened to one of mine. Yup, we love to humanise our dogs, but truth is they are animals, and we need to never forget that, and to respect the nature of our "pets", by never totally letting our guard down. There is a pecking order to every pack, isn't there?

Shrinky said...

I rest my case, Ms. A! Dogs reflect the nature of the owner, if raised with kindness, they are generally loving, loyal and a wonderful assett to any family.

Cathy said...

Hello, I discovered your blog a while ago. I have truly been enjoying your writing and am jealous of the beautiful area you get to call home. It must be so wonderful to be so close to such amazing sights and sounds. I am also afraid of pitbulls although I've never come up close and personal to one but I empathize with your anger at irresponsible dog owners. Sometimes I think people should be required to take dog parenting classes and get a license before they are allowed to own one.

Shrinky said...

That little Frou of yours has the heart of a lion, RC, what a brave soldier! Yeah, Staff's are the new Pit bull's now, aren't they? See, the people who go for them tend to want them more for the hard image they project, which kinda' speaks volumes about the way they're likely to raise the poor animal, once they have it.

I know what you mean about the urge to turn vigalante!

Shrinky said...

Oh dear, Mark, sounds like you really ARE having a rough time this week? On our honeymoon in the Seychelles, we spend whole a day by ourselves on a deserted island. We found out it was up for sale. You have no idea how much I tried to convince my new hubby we should sell up everything we possess to afford living there.

Blimey, am I glad he didn't listen!

#1Nana said...

The photos are great. The day started with such promise. It is sad what irresponsible pet owners have done to encourage the vicious reputation of this breed.

Joanna Jenkins said...

This kind of thing drives me crazy. I'd had had more then a few choice words for the friggin owner of the dogs. Sheesh. Glad you and Jake ended up okay.
Xo jj

Linda Sue said...

Yeah - pit bulls are the state dog of Hawaii, every one has at least two and they are the enormous head no ear all jowls kind, frightening animals- Lots of Pot to protect there I guess...When i was pregnant and living on the reservation a sweet pit bull adopted me, He was so pretty and adorable until one day on the beach he attacked the mean chocolate lab that terrorized the beach, Poor pit bull, he didn't mean to, but his jaw locked on the lab, couldn't help it, that is one of the breeds super powers...We had to euthanize my pit bull, the lab spent some time in doggy hospital.What I learned from that is - you can not win with a pit bull.
Your experience terrifies me!

sage said...

What a beautiful island and a scary situation. I once had a similar situation, but without a dog,in New England when hiking the Appalachian Trail. The owner of the two dogs sat on his porch and he never called the dogs off. I'm glad both of you are okay.

Middle Child said...

The worst nightmare! Its the samne here. Not so long ago a little 4 year old was killed when a pit bull or rottweiler came into her home from another yard and killed her as well severely injuring her aunt...

Chantel said...

My darling, I was so glad to hear this was the past--allowed my heart to settle and me to stop making plans to fly over and kick some arse. lol

Instinct is so real. The falabilty of man is his delusion of control. So glad you are you. Smooches to Jake. (he and my Hazel would have made beautiful babies...) ;)

silly rabbit said...

Oh how awful! I'm so glad that you are both ok.
There is no excuse for that! What a horrid man. I wish you had hit him in the head with a rock!
I have a pit and she is a sweetie to all people, including children, though she is never allowed alone with children. Because of abuse from a former owner, (a total jerk like your attacker's owner) she cannot be allowed around other animals.
We got her from a responsible rescue center who explained all of her needs and we had to sign a contract that we would follow the rules of responsible pit care, or lose her. One of the biggies is that a pit is NEVER allowed to run off leash. Never. The only exception is in a well fenced enclosure.
We are faithful to the rules, but so many idiots are not. A pit can be so very dangerous. Their jaws are so strong and lock. I'm scared just thinking about this.

silly rabbit said...

I have not heard any stories about pits attacking their owners unless the pit was abused and badly used. They are not mean by nature, they are made that way by idiots. Pits are stunningly faithful and loving if treated humanly.

Unfortunately there are way too many idiots who are mean to their dogs.

Shrinky said...

Hello Jeaux, I suspect the guy added this incident to his bragging repertoire. Like dogs, guess humans too are often only a reflection of their upbringing, so perhaps he's actually more to be pitied, than scorned (shrug)? However, this island is too small for him to escape eventual notice from the powers that be, in fact I'm confident he's probably found himself parted from those dogs by now.

Braveheart? Hardly! It was instict, not courage that sprung into gear, if I'd had the luxury of one second of thought, I'd probably have fainted!

In many ways I live surrounded in a protected bubble, never giving much thought to my safety when I take off to the more deserted parts of this isle. That this happened in a place surrounded by people, rather shook me to the core, but today and with hindsight, I can balance it knowing this isolated experience is very much an exception to what most folk can ordinarily expect to encounter here. On balance, I never carry a house-key, my door is always open, and I even leave my car unlocked and with the ignition key, for convenience, left on the dashboard (car theft is pretty pointless here, as they'd only be caught either queuing for the ferry, or spotted and recognised by someone they know)!

Shrinky said...

I'm with you on that one, Ake.

Shrinky said...

How lovely to hear from you Cathy, welcome aboard! As a "blow-in" to this isle, having lived the majority of my adult life in London, I do try never to take the beauty of this place for granted, and yes, I think I am much blessed to live here. It's ironic although everyone must take lessons and pass a competancy test to drive a car, no one is required to learn the basics of resposible dog ownership - yet both can be leathal weapons in the wrong hands.

Shrinky said...

I know, Nana, it's quite depressing really.

Shrinky said...

Ha! Wish I'd had you there, JJ!

Shrinky said...

Linda Sue, that must have been a heartbreaking experience for you, so sad. Yes, sometimes their reputation proceeds them, and it's hard not to stereotype, isn't it?

Shrinky said...

OMG Sage, the guy must have been a sociopath - what was he thinking of? Hope you survived without damage? Horrible to think there are crazy people like that about.

Shrinky said...

Therese, I hope the person responsible for this animal is now serving a long jail sentance? It's no different than if he/she had shot this poor kid with a gun!

Shrinky said...

Yes Chantal, we can never really predict what can crash into our world, much as we may try to. I sure would have loved to see you in arse-kicking mode! Poor Jake has had his baby-making equipment long since removed, I confess the odd pang of regret - yes, I think he could have made some lovely babies!

Shrinky said...

Silly Rabbit, the world needs more caring, loving families like yours - those willing to come behind and help to mend the damage wrought on some of these poor creatures, by the cruelty of previous owners. sadly, as you know, not all can be rehabilitated, so many healthy, potentially good animals have to be tragically destroyed, as it's often too difficult to find new owners willing to open their doors and hearts to re-home them.

PRH....... said...

Penis Extension is as truthful as it gets.....I had a couple of Hillbilly types renting the place next to my estate last Summer as the neighborhood slowly goes to Hell....of course the Hillbilly types, complete with snot nosed kids, and chain smoking overweight women companions, had a couple of Pitbull dogs residing with them to make of for their shortcomings. On way day when one of the mutts came wandering into my yard, I yell over at Hillybilly #1...."Son, you better get your gawd damn beast off my property...because next time, you'll be dragging him out...and then I'm coming after you" Being the usual non paying types they were, they soon left to pollute some other poor souls neighborhood....but I suspect one day I will be reading about someones demise at the hands of either the Pitdog, or the Hillbilly at the hands of a gun toting neighbor.

PRH....... said...

And as you know Shrinky, I love dogs and kids....but with a soon to be 14 year old Airedale, and a few young neighborhood kids, that wander by...I am in no mood for someone to be using a poor abused dog to terrorize the kids nearby, crap in my yard, or attack those that visit. Turns me into one of the gun toting angry neighbors... :0

Shrinky said...

Hi there Pat, OMG, I think I'd want to sell up and move if a family like that moved in next to us! It's beyond me how some folk can live like that.

Secret Agent Woman said...

First, before I forget - those photos are amazing.

And this post just enrages me. I have a patient who was very nearly killed when she was attacked by dogs and it should never happen. I think owners who have these dogs should be in prison and the dogs put down. And personally, I think pit bulls should be illegal everywhere. I know some are nice, but they are bred to fight and cannot be trusted. I carry pepper spray when I walk not because of the people I might encounter but the dogs.

Dave said...

Carol, I share your anger and disgust at the owner of those dogs. I feel strongly that anyone who owns a dog that attacks people or their pets without justification should be imprisoned or better, put down with their dogs!! Glad you both came off not too seriously hurt. Well done Jake! - Dave

Shrinky said...

Hi Secret Agent, I could have used some of that spray of yours, methinks. Pepper spary is banned in the UK! I think most of us share your views on this, these creeps are sub-human as far as I'm concerned.

Shrinky said...

Hi there Dave, yeah, no one should be placed in that sort of danger deliberately, it's beyond me how anyone can take pleasure in terrorising people just for their twisted pleasure.

Pat Tillett said...

First off, GREAT photos!
Pit Bulls are awesome and amazing dogs. You are right about it being an owner thing. If they grow up with a regular person or family they are as gentle as can be.

Hilary said...

Geez, Shrinky.. you could have told us at the beginning that it was a repost! Whew! My heart was in my throat.

The only pit bulls I've encountered (there's been about a half dozen) have had absolutely lovely natures.. just like their people. And yet, I'm still aware of their reputation each time I encounter one in the park. Dog attacks are a terrifying concept.

I've had two Rottweilers (another breed which is often feared but are usually wonderful dogs) come out at me when walking alone in a park at dusk. They snarled and growled but thankfully just wanted me to leave. They had no interest in following me. I never learned who they belonged to.

Back when I was a kid, the dogs to fear were Dobermans. I got snapped at by one when I was about 8 and the owner was equally grumpy as his dog. Every single Doberman I've known since (and again, there's been at least 6) are incredibly sweet dogs.. with good people.

I think your post title tells it all.

Please give Jake a good scratch behind the ears for me. He's a good boy. :)