"What happened to your hair?"
"Er, well it was the fashion back then." (Have they any idea how much back-combing went in to that?)
"It looks weird. Why are you wearing that long frock?"
"It was a black-tie do."
"But you're not wearing any tie, anyway why are you on the floor?"
"I'd just got home, that was taken in the first flat I ever owned."
The girls have unearthed a sack of old photo's from somewhere (one's I'd hidden), and are grilling me for any story behind them.
"Why have you got a photo of this?"
I perk up. "That my dear, was the first agency I opened, in Putney."
Beccy's face drops. "It a bit low-rent, isn't it?"
Yes, I started off very low rent. I finished off as sole proprietor of a business pay rolling 500 staff. Wounded, I decide to let it pass. Abby squeals, thrusting a picture up my nose, one of me linking arms with someone. "Who's this bloke you're with?"
"Er, that's someone I met before your dad."
Frowning now, "Does dad know?"
"Well of course he does, he had girlfriends before he met me too, you know.."
Both girls exchange disbelieving looks. Beccy wants more dirt, "So who is he, then?"
"He's a musician. You listen to his music all the time - don't you recognise him?"
"He's not as good looking as dad."
God bless the love of a child. "Um, no darling, 'course he isn't." (Sigh.)
Holding up a picture taken at Biggin Hill airstrip, I deftly change the subject, "Oooh, now see this plane? I used to fly that.."
They look suitably impressed. "You were a pilot?"
"Well, kind of, but this is a glider, they don't have an engine. Another plane has to tow you up first, and then you ride on the wind currents.. "
Disappointment drips from Beccy's voice, "Oh, so it's only a kite, then? That's why you hair's such a mess?
What is with this fixation on my hair?
Darn, these kids are hard to impress! I rummage deeper in to the pile, and pull out a long forgotten snap-shot of me doing a star-jump. "This was taken at Cornhead in Kent, I was practising for my first ever parachute jump."
"Who's the bloke in the background?"
"Never mind that, did you know your old mum used to jump out of airplanes?"
"Get a look at those skanky shorts he's wearing!" Both girls roll about, giggling. Crestfallen, I give up. Then Beccy finally discovers something that gives both her and Abby a whole new fresh respect, she proffers it out, awestruck.
"Wow, that is WAY cool! I never knew you were a Punk Rocker.."
I straighten my shoulders. "Well I wasn't ALWAYS a boring old fuddy-duddy, you know.."
(There is no way on God's green earth I'm fessing up that it's fancy dress.)
Ooooh, NOOOO!! Is it only me, or am I a dead ringer for Myra Hindley, the child-murderer, in that last shot?????